How many times have you heard someone say, “Calm down!” or “Take a chill pill!” or whatever else you can think of when being asked to stop with the anger? In fact, there’s even a program to help control this behavior, but the reality is … anger is a natural way for us to communicate any hidden disturbances that are going on with us. It plays a significant role in the balancing act of emotions we go through.
3 Reasons Expressing Your Anger is Not Always a Bad Thing
What do you think would happen if you never expressed your anger? Would you be sad? Depressed? Emotionally unstable? Uncomfortably and weirdly happy all the time? Here are 3 reasons anger is ok to let loose once in a while:
- It can help improve your relationships
- It can boost self-confidence
- It can be a great way for you to get what you want
Whether it’s your spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend, mom, sister, or even kids, sharing the reasons behind your anger should be expressed and talked about to avoid future dismay. Sometimes deciding to “let it go” and not talk about it can cause more problems.
For example, my mom often gets mad at my brother for various things. She’ll sulk and not talk to him. My brother will wonder what’s going on and dismiss the situation until my mom eventually talks to him again. Because my mom chooses to tell him what she’s really upset about, she stresses herself out (not really good for her health), is in a rotten mood for the most part, and my brother just does the same thing again and again, not realizing it drives my mom crazy.
Expressing anger in this situation could help both my mom and brother come up with a solution together, perhaps improving their relationship. With their current routine, they really just cause animosity towards each other, which becomes a very sad thing, considering they are losing out on the best years of their mother-son relationship.
Have you ever been in a situation when you just didn’t have the courage to say something, perhaps because you didn’t want to hurt someone’s feelings, you were shy, or you just could find any constructive way of letting of of what you were feeling? Then suddenly, something makes you angry and you become this confident person who somehow finds the right words to say, solving the very situation and cause of your anger.
Self-confidence in this form can really only happen with controlled anger. When you start blowing your top and going off on a tangent, you just become this angry, irrational person who has the potential to make a situation worse than it is.
Controlled anger requires a deep breath and a lot of patience. When used correctly, it can help create positive results and an optimistic frame of mind.
Ever hear of “Good Cop Bad Cop?” In an interrogation, a bad cop who’s filled with expression and anger is usually sent in first to speak to a witness. Get the witness scared enough to talk to the next person (good cop) could be a great strategy.
In the Good Cop Bad Cop situation, a bad cop has to make sense of what he’s talking about. He can’t just show rage and expect the other person to suddenly want to share information. The strategy wouldn’t be very effective then. The bad cop has to be logical about his angry argument in order for it to be effective.
As a parent, good cop bad cop parenting can work if the parents both planned the situation right and the matter is more controlled. Sometimes, however, a child may see this form of parenting as a way to be able to manipulate one parent more than the other, but that’s a good story for another day 🙂
Obviously, turning into the Hulk every time you’re angry can have catastrophic results. This is where anger management can be helpful. However, if you’re able to see logic behind the reasons for your anger, you might find the above reasons to be quite right.