In a perfect world, everyone would seal their marriage with a kiss and then go on to live a blissful state of pure romance and happiness each day, for the rest of their lives. Does that describe your marriage? If so, you and your man are obviously doing something right.
Unfortunately, not every couple has the secret to lifelong passion and romance figured out. In fact, many common factors in life cause the marital flame to dampen and if left unattended for too long, the fire dies completely. A few of those factors are stress, financial burdens, parenting demands, lack of intimacy, feeling unappreciated, and pure exhaustion.
Did you know that nearly 1 in 2 marriages end in divorce? That’s a startling statistic. Of course, not every marriage can be saved, but many can see significant improvement with some simple, intentional steps. As you read ahead, you might find yourself thinking “he doesn’t do that for me, so why should I do it for him?” Or perhaps you’ll think some of these marital tips would be too awkward to.
Transforming your marriage back to sizzling passion doesn’t happen without effort. You’re going to have to proceed with an open mind and maybe even do a few things that feel really forced at first. I promise, it will be well worth the heart you put into it. Your man will respond favorably to your actions and ultimately you’ll both reap the benefits of a lifelong, loving union.
Five easy ways a wife can improve their marriage today.
1. Kiss Your Husband – Passionately
When was the last time you approached your man and planted a long, deeply passionate kiss on his lips? I’m not talking about a peck on the lips. I’m talking about the kind of kiss that fires up your libido. The kind of kiss that will stop your husband in his tracks. Even if you aren’t in the mood to kiss him, force yourself to do it anyway. Give it every ounce of passion you have. Then watch an amazing transformation take place – in your heart and in his.
2. Show You’re Interested
Your husband walks through the door from work and proceeds to tell you about his day. Instead of actively listening, your mind wanders off to the meeting you have with little Johnny’s teacher tomorrow, the day of upcoming dentist appointments to coordinate, and a mental note to add coffee creamer to the grocery list. Meanwhile, your husband has noticed you aren’t present and decides it’s pointless to share his day with you, since you obviously don’t care.
Men love to talk when they know you care about what they’re saying. So make a conscious effort to listen actively and show him you value what he’s saying by asking questions, offering your opinion, and laughing when he cracks a joke. Don’t allow a phone call from your BFF to interrupt this time of connection between you and your man. Let the kids know when daddy’s talking, they need to be polite and let him finish. Surely, you can devote an uninterrupted 15 minutes to engage in loving communication with your husband.
3. Do Something Unexpected
Romance can easily be fueled through the element of surprise. Write your man a love note, include a sexy photo of yourself, and slip it into his hand as he walks out the door to work. Gift him with your own version of the 12 Days of Christmas during the holidays. A fun option here is to dress up in different lingerie every night for the 12 evenings leading up to Christmas. Even stopping to pick up his favorite take-out or a pair of shoes he’s been wanting to buy, can be a nice unexpected and loving surprise. Doing nice things for your man shows him how much you love him.
4. Initiate Sex
Ladies, many of us get a bad rap in this category. When you’re tired, sex is often the last thing on your mind. When you’ve had a long day of changing diapers and chasing little feet out of dangerous spaces, all you want to do is slip into a hot bath with your favorite magazine. I get it! But, probably the single greatest way to improve your marriage today is to initiate sex.
Sexual intimacy is what keeps the flame burning hot in marriage. And the more sex you and your husband have, the stronger your desire for it will be. How would you feel if your husband never playfully flirted with you? What if he never indicated a desire to have sex with you? You’d likely feel like he wasn’t attracted to you anymore. Maybe you’d even worry that he was no longer in love with you. Men have these concerns too. Initiate sex with your man tonight and watch his response. He’ll react with appreciation, love, and will no doubt become quite flirty in the coming days.
5. Say Thank You
Men long to feel appreciated. They work hard to provide for their family. They help maintain the home. They carry their own unique parenting responsibilities. Just as you want to be appreciated for all you do to provide a well-run home and family, your husband in particular, needs to hear that you appreciate him. If you’re a stay-at-home mom, when was the last time you thanked your man for going to work every day so you can stay home and care for your children? Maybe you also work outside of the home. Have you thanked your husband for helping with the kids or for preparing meals with you when the work day has finished?
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Take the Challenge
Go ahead. Take the challenge. Try these easy tips for improving your marriage today and watch the transformation take place. Remember, intentional actions of romance will rekindle the flames of your love, but it has to start somewhere. Why not be the one who initiates it?