I’m that super obsessed mom who looks up everything on the internet just to freak herself out. So naturally, I would look up “mom guilt” on Google to read what other moms are saying. I’ve scrolled through so many posts telling me to get over my mom guilt. The thing is, I could nod my head all day long, but it still won’t stop me from feeling emotional over time wasted away from my child.
Let’s face it, motherhood might be for life, but my little guy won’t be little forever. Times will change and the days he comes up to hug me with his full body wrap around hug is a limited time offer.
Mom Loses It!
I was trying to make mashed potatoes while making sure that chicken in the oven isn’t over-cooking and my 6 year old is in the kitchen asking me to add nickels, pennies, and quarters. Every 2 seconds I hear him say, “mommy what’s this number plus a nickel.” Then “mommy what’s 108 plus 25.” And “Are you sure mommy? Can you count again because I don’t think that’s right.”
It started with me happily helping him try to understand the coins and all the math involved, but after about 30 minutes of trying to multi-multi-multi-task, I heard myself shout, “Honey, I need you to be quiet right now! Go over there and count to yourself!” He looked at me in shock and quietly moved over to the couch with his head down.
After realizing exactly what I’d done, I dropped everything I was doing, walked over and hugged him. He was so upset, it took a few minutes to calm him down. I think it was mostly the shock, but I’m thinking it was also because he didn’t realize he was doing anything wrong. Of course, he really wasn’t.
Why Mom Guilt is OK
The next day, he was completely over the whole situation. He may or may not ever remember it, but I won’t ever know if it’s something that could either bite me in the behind later or something that could have caused any emotional pain for him. Whatever the case, it’s a lesson learned that taking a breath every now and then can be very helpful.
I’ve seen too many parents who completely lack mom guilt and possibly pass on their uncaring, unfeeling behaviors to their children. So don’t feel guilty about your mom guilt, because I promise you that you’re not alone!
Things are not always completely rosy, nor will they ever be, but mom guilt is something I feel lucky to have. Why? Because without it, I may not understand what it could take to help my child grow into a good, loving and well-rounded individual I hope he could be.