The C-Section Dads’ Own Trauma

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Nearly 5 years ago, I went into the doctor’s office for my regular checkup. I was 34 weeks pregnant and thought I was going to be in and out of there quickly. In fact, I’d even planned a trip to the store just after. Little did I know that I wasn’t going to be doing any shopping that day.

dad-and-baby

“Your blood pressure is unusually high for someone who’s already sitting down,” said the doctor.

“Ok, well maybe it’s because I just finished a long walk from my car. How about if we wait a few minutes?”

After reminding me of our previous conversation about being on bed rest, she admitted that it was going to be too risky. Long story short, I called my husband and told him it was time …

It was about 2am before I could have my procedure. I was under medication and freaking out, but my husband sat with me, held my hand, and just kept repeating, “it’s going to be alright.”

What Could a Husband Go Through During the Birth of Their Child?

It wasn’t until weeks later when I realized all the emotions my husband went through. I was going through so many things in my head, but my husband had been awake as long as I was and endured all the moaning, anxiety, and fears.

We hear so many stories about what we go through as moms, because the physical pain can be very overwhelming. However, we forget about the support system we have in our husbands and partners sometimes. We forget that they too, can go through pain and many emotions. Sometimes, I guess, we don’t think about their feelings because many might feel the physical pain we go through as the mom who just went through the c-section, doesn’t deserve a comparison.

What Do I Do While You’re Pregnant

I read a book called “What Do I Do While You’re Pregnant,” by Kenny Bodanis, a dad, Canadian TV personality, and survivor of a c-section, who talks about the many things a man can go through as his wife gets pregnant and has a baby. It’s a dad’s perspective of pregnancy and all the joyous circumstances that come with it.

Being around a pregnant woman is not easy. Believe me, I know. When I think back at the fears my husband had and what he had to endure, I knew he was definitely a keeper!

It was all very blurry to me, but I do remember bits and pieces of my pregnancy. There were times my husband used to wait until he could be the very last person at work, because he would say, “I was always scared to come home, because I didn’t know what kind of trouble I was going to be in.” I felt like the She-Devil.

I was unbearable. My family didn’t want to be around me, my friends kept canceling hangout times with me, even my husband was afraid to answer any of my questions, because I was so unbearable to be with. So you see … my husband went through his own hell.

husband-and-c-section

During my c-section, I started shaking uncontrollably. My husband thought I was having a seizure, because I was shaking so much. He continued to tell me everything was going to be alright even though he was absolutely scared to death.

After reading Kenny Bodanis’ story, I realized there were so much more to what my husband went through than I realized. I was going through my own pain, yes, but I never really asked him about his feelings. He never offered them either. Knowing my husband, he would logically respond with something like, “it didn’t matter. You went through worse.”

Perhaps it’s human nature for us to think that someone who goes through more difficult situations deserve the most attention.

It seems to take away from those who go through less trying times. Doesn’t seem quite fair in my book.

Selfishly, we as moms might not have thought about our husband’s own experiences. I invite you to read Kenny’s book about his own experiences with pregnancy and c-section, because it will have you thinking about your husband. If you can’t relate to your partner’s feelings for those important moments of pregnancy into birth, Kenny will surely be able to help you get there.

What Do I Do While You’re Pregnant,” by Kenny Bodanis is a fantastic gift for the first time-to-be dad, because it will help him to understand that he’s not alone with his emotions. He’s not the only dad going through fears, anxiety, and excitement all at once. He’s also not the only one going through the pangs of pregnancy.

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