Today is my son’s 6th birthday and it’s just gotten a lot more fun, because I know he finally understands what it means for it to be “his day.” In fact, it’s a little difficult for me to ever forget about it since he’s been telling just about every person he knows (and those he doesn’t know) that his day was only 5 days away, 4 days away, and now … it’s here!
A friend of mine is considering in vitro and was asking me how I felt about it. Knowing her as one of the most loving, caring women I know, I expressed my complete support and happiness. “Think about how much you love your mom or any of your family members. The love you’re going to have for your child will be a million times greater,” I said.
She gave me a smile and a really excited expression. I then added, “Now think about any time in your life when you feel as if you were the most scared you’d ever been. You will feel fearless because once you have a child, the biggest fears you will ever have are the ones that involve your child’s pain or the possibility of them ever getting hurt.
My little boy is the most amazing gift I’ve ever had. He is the product of love and the light in my life. He is my true treasure. So when I look at him and my husband together, I know that I am richer and more complete than I could ever ask to be.
At 6 years old and in Kindergarten, I feel as if my son is in his last year of being in that true baby stage. It’s that stage when your child still needs you for a lot of things, such as tying his shoes, preparing every meal for him, helping him get dressed … After this year, I feel (and maybe fear a little) he will begin to understand so much more, which means he’s just going to need me a little less.
I know it’s every parent’s dream to see their child grow up, become great people, become successful and so on. It’s mine too, but every birthday is a happy and sad moment for me. I’m happy because it’s the celebration of the first day I met him, but I do get a little sad, because it’s one less year for me to be in that comfortable place of knowing he still wants his mommy for so many things.
I guess all I can do is enjoy every darn minute of the next few years. Sometimes even the temper tantrums are worth cherishing …