It is never an easy situation for anyone whose husband or wife travels for work. There are fears, insecurities, emptiness, and a mixture of uneasy emotions that can arise. However, the spouse at home is not the only one who might dislike the situation.
My husband and I met in a plane back to Orange County (our home town) from our job assignments. So there were no surprises about the travel situation.
At the time, I was traveling 90% of the time with my job requiring me to be in an airport on Sunday morning to get to whatever state I was assigned to travel to and be back home on Friday evenings. My husband had been running a company whose headquarters was in Europe. So he didn’t have a lot of choices either, with his clients spread out in different parts of the country.
After being together for a year, we both became victims of the economic crisis and lost our jobs. Long story short, I decided traveling was enough for me, while his title in his new job required him to continue to do so.
There are times he is gone for 2 days and sometimes for an entire month. His traveling never bothered me until after my son was born. He was asked to attend a mandatory meeting in Chicago. He left when my son was 48 hours old and came back 4 days later.
I know it’s not easy for him to be gone all the time. Traveling for work, though it might sound like a great experience for those who don’t do it, is utterly exhausting. Getting through airport security, sitting in an uncomfortable position for 2, 3, 4, or more hours, and then having to sleep out of your comfort zone is not all that fun. There are perks, of course, because you get to see other places. But I try to think of the days I used to do it and make myself understand that he’s not out there to have fun. He’s out there to provide for his family.
There are times I have my secret bits of insecurity, though as I remember an incident I had when I was single and working. I met a man, while I was on assignment in Houston. He was really handsome. So I didn’t hesitate when he asked me out to dinner. It wasn’t until we were sitting down having a meal that I spotted his wedding band.
“You married?” I asked.
“Yeah, but it’s cool,” was the response I still remember.
Funny thing was that his hotel room had been right across from mine. After dinner he invited me to his room. Naive and stupid, I entered and he immediately started kissing me and trying to get me to do more. A bit freaked out, I left.
Although I trust my husband, many people don’t ever really know what happens when they aren’t with their significant other, do they? I can’t help to think about it, but it’s just another one of those things that I know is part of the package, I guess.
When my husband is gone for days at a time, I get so many mixed feelings. I could relax, because I know he’s not going to nag me about anything around the house. I could have my own schedule without worrying about what he’ll eat for dinner or the time he’ll be home. I could pretty much do whatever I want as long as my son is fed, clean, and ok. I like my bit of freedom, but I also love the security of his presence.
I like having something to be excited about when I know there’s only an hour left before he comes home from work. I like knowing he’s sitting on the couch, relaxing. I like having someone appreciate the meals I make for dinner. I like his company, and just knowing there is an extra hand around if I need it. I like feeling safe when a strong figure is laying next to me at night. I just like him around and miss him terribly when he’s gone.
Tomorrow, my son and I will be driving to LAX to pick him up after being gone for 10 days. “Just one more sleep,” he would say the day before coming home. One more sleep and I get to hug and cuddle him as much as I want.