Do Your Relatives Cause You More Stress Than Comfort?

Oh come on! Surely most of you don’t have the perfect family. We all grew up very close. My two brothers and I were always there for each other. We ate together for every meal, while we were growing up, and my mom and dad always knew where we were most of the time. However, we were far from perfect.

relatives

I’m not going to go into detail about what happened while I was going up, because that’s not what this post is about. I WILL tell you though that as an adult with your own family, things tend to be a little chaotic when getting the rest of your family together.

My parents live with my brother, his wife, and their two kids. So they love those two little ones like their own children, but of course, they have their complaints too.

Every week, I try to visit them so that my 3 year old can play with his cousins and of course see my parents and my brother. Though I try to be cordial, I don’t always like being around their mom. In fact, sometimes I don’t even like to look at her, but that’s another story.

Somehow, whenever I visit them, I always seem to get into a fight with my dad or find something that really annoy me about going to visit. You could think it’s just my own issues, but there are variations of big and little things that I’m sure would probably get your eyes really big if you only knew.

My husband always asks, “why do you go there if you know you’re going to get stressed about something?”

“They’re my family,” I usually reply.

My husband seems to think it really doesn’t matter if your family members do something wrong, but I have been through enough with mine that I know there is nothing in the world any of us could ever do to make us ever disown each other or anything of the sort or just not see them. I think families are important. We are all matched with the members of our family, whether we like it or not. Family is called a family, because bonds are supposed to be so much greater than anything. Those who have strong family bonds tend to have positive and have more fulfilling lives, because they have love. Love is free and something that never has to be bought.

I don’t believe it’s wrong to ever depend on your family for anything. Sometimes we need a little help. When you have a strong family bond, it is very comforting to know that people will be there for you through just about any tough times.

I know I want my son to grow up knowing he is always loved and he can always have people in his life he can depend on, because let’s face it, we don’t live in a perfect world.

Please feel free to share any family drama with us. We always love to hear your sides.

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Comments

  1. says

    I agree that family is family and you stand by them! However, sometimes it is definitely better to take a step back and create some space if they are draining you. I strive to avoid negativity as much as possible, especially when I am not in the most serene mental state. Some days you can handle it better than others, and we know our reaction IS indeed everything!

  2. says

    Oh yes! I have learned that I can’t always count on my family to be there when they say they will, so as one of my friends once told me “You created your own family out of friends, haven’t you” and I have.

  3. says

    This page is NOT long enough for our family drama–MY MOM’s side has often joked they could base a #1 SOAP OPERA after all the drama in the family’s past…My Dad is an only child so his side is less stressful for sure–and there are 5 kids on my Hubby’s side and we see one sister and her kids A LOT because our daughter are only 2 days apart and they live four blocks away. But they are all pretty drama free.

  4. says

    Wow. Brave of you to write so candidly about your feelings! I can say, now that I’m approaching the wise old age of 50, that it gets easier as you get older. At least in my family. We’re mellowing like fine wine, perhaps. Or maybe we’ve learned you can’t sweat the small stuff. Or maybe, and this is most likely it, we’ve all learned how to avoid each other’s trigger points to navigate around the tough spots.

    For instance, my brother needs quiet during the day — he just has to slip away. We would be incredibly stupid to rent a lake or beach house to share! However, renting adjacent units, where we all have some privacy, that’s amazing! We get along the whole time we’re together. Because…. we have space! :)

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