BC (before children) friendships are all about going out, having a good time, being a shoulder to cry on over the latest drama with best friends arsehole of a boyfriend and having someone to call on night and day for a gossip or to catch up over lunch at the drop of a hat. You hear people say all the time things change after having children but never think it’ll be you – your too close nothing can change that!
As the first of my close group of friends to have children (and when I say that I mean I had three children in 4 years whilst they all remained childless so I really was the odd one out), it didn’t take me long to notice the change. As a new mum I was kind of in my own little bubble floating from one feed to the next. Hours turned into days which turned into weeks and before long it had been a month since I’d had a good catch up with anyone. Not to say it’s a bad thing. I still love my friends to death but the dynamic has changed. My friends now seem to fall into different ‘types’:
The ‘Broody’ Friend
Broody friend visits when ever possible just to give new baby a little squidge, she claims to want to come visit you but believe me its the baby she’s after, expect lots of “coos” and “awws” from broody friend. She may also ask lots of questions (slyly) about getting pregnant, signs of pregnancy, with a new born you can’t remember what you had for breakfast so be prepared!
‘Never Seen Again Friend’
This friend comes over for the obligatory meet the baby visit, awkwardly holds baby for approximately 30 seconds before handing back, physically shudders at words like placenta or colostrum. Asks if your ready to hit the town again yet and after sensing your not at all up for it makes excuses and we’re still waiting on that second visit. May of scarred her for life.
Established Mother Friend’
This may be a friend or a relative who already has a child or children you mention sleepless night, she’s been there. Your baby has nappy rash she’s been there. You have a toddler who wont eat there greens she’s been there and worn the t-shirt, almost certainly along side spinning plates on her head and riding a unicycle.
Fellow New Mum Friend
You meet shortly after arriving at your first ever mother and baby group, with children of very similar ages you are both incredibly relieved to of found someone who understands why you are now 30 minutes late to everything and now spend hours discussing baby crap that nobody else seems to get!
Heading down the bumpy road that is parenthood you may lose one or two friends along the way that you never expected too but your also opening up a door to make lots of new and brilliant friends. Things change, your priorities will almost immediately and thats ok, I have made some of my best friends since becoming a mum and am so grateful for it!