Keep the Spark in Your Marriage Even with Multiple Children

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Children bring a new depth of love to a marriage, but they can also consume so much of the parents time, and energy that there seems little left for strengthening their marriage.

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Affection

Continue the courtship. If possible, re-visit places of significance from the courting days. Places such as where a couple had their first date, became engaged, or went on their honeymoon, can rekindle the flame!

Physical contact is essential to keeping the spark in a marriage. Hugging and kissing (not just a peck on the cheek, but a good juicy smooch), holding hands, and sitting next to each other whenever possible, are ways that keep couples close to one another. Some couples go an entire day without ever having touched each other. This can harm a relationship more than people realize.

Say ‘I love you’ often. Make it a habit to say ‘I love you’ whenever a spouse is coming or going. Leave love notes around the house.

Date night once a week

Setting aside time once a week without the children gives a big boost to a couple’s relationship. If money or a babysitter is a problem, consider having a date at home. There are ways of keeping the children happily occupied for an hour or so in a separate part of the house, while couples spend that time communicating and maybe sharing a take-out dinner. Reading a book together, painting a room, or cleaning out the garage as a couple can all be fun date activities.

Modern technology is a great convenience, but it can also interrupt a couple’s precious time together. If a husband and wife decide to go out on the town, consider leaving the cell phone, iPad, and lap top, etc. at home. Couples, who don’t allow technology to distract from their time together, reaffirm to each other whom and what is most important.

Appearance

Get out of those old worn out comfortable sweats…

Respect/communicate/listen

Don’t get in the habit of calling each other ‘Mommy’ or ‘Daddy’ that is what the children call their parents. Spouses should call each other by their name or use an affectionate nick-name. In a house full of children who are calling ‘Mommy’ or ‘Daddy’ all the time, it’s nice to hear a person’s name once in a while.

Take a few minutes each day to share the events that are going on. Show interest in each other’s activities, work, etc. Don’t turn this time into a gripe session, (schedule that for a time when both partners can sit down and discuss the problems in a relaxed atmosphere).

Being quiet and listening to what a spouse is saying builds confidence in the spouse and encourages better communication.

Plan

Between dirty diapers and late night feedings, the sexual relationship between a husband and wife can get misplaced. Don’t let your sexual relationship turn into an event that only happens when you’re conveniently in bed at the end of the day and too tired to make it fun! Plan it by creating a romantic atmosphere.

Laugh

Laughter goes a long way at relieving stress and tension in a relationship. Just don’t EVER laugh at the expense of the other person.

Post a humorous video, note, or picture to a spouses email, on the bathroom mirror, or on their car window. Be creative!

Fidelity

This is possibly the most important aspect of keeping the flame alive in a marriage. Security and trust develop when a companion knows their spouse is so deeply in love with them, that they are committed to them and only them. This trust can be the foundation for creating an even deeper relationship, where the flames of an abiding love can burn uninhibited, because there are no barriers to cause fear of rejection.