Last week, I picked up my son from Kindergarten and bent over to kiss him, like I usually do whenever we say good-bye to each other. I then stood up and noticed a mom staring at me, looking disgusted. I looked right at her from afar, raised both my eyebrows and smiled.
Then I remembered my friend talking about an article she read about Hilary Duff kissing her 4 year old son a few months ago. There were lots of people who seemed to be outraged and grossed out about it. Well, let me tell you right now that I don’t give a sh#% about what people think.
My son is 6 years old and guess what? He’s my son and nobody is going to tell me how to raise him and just because you do or don’t do something, doesn’t mean I’m going to agree with you! It’s just the way my world works.
There are parents who will share their affection by kissing their kids on the lips (there are also a lot more people out there who do it than you think!) and other people who will be judgmental about it, because they don’t feel the same way. Whatever the case, it doesn’t make us disgusting. It just makes other people who think so, judgmental, shallow and narrow-minded.
Now you may not agree with me, but my son loves to kiss me and just like most little boys, he thinks he’s going to marry his mom. Doesn’t mean he will or there’s anything unusually incestuous about about it, but while he says that, he will also say things to me like, “Mommy, some day my wife and I will live in another country, just like you and daddy away from grandma.” So, no, I don’t raise him like Norman Bates’ mom. I believe I’m raising him to learn to be affectionate and caring by letting him know that it’s ok to give someone a kiss as a sign of affection and love.
I have been around enough people to know that no matter how good you are, there will always be some idiot out there who will judge you in the most horrible way possible. Yes, I understand we are all entitled to our opinions, but let’s face it, there are some things that should just be left alone. It saddens me that an innocent sign of affection between mother and son could actually be turned into something ugly.
I’m not oblivious to the fact that incest does happen and there are some weird people out there, but I think as long as you don’t start making out with your child or doing things that you know are inappropriate, you should be ok. We all know what actions should be appropriate and what shouldn’t. How we act and react to our kids and their sexuality makes a big difference.
I don’t think kissing your child on the lips is sexual at all, as some perverted minds would think. In my opinion (and this is my blog so I’m allowed to share my own opinions), I’d rather have my child grow up thinking he’s loved with affectionate kisses from his parents, than to grow up lacking it.
Surely my son would not want to be kissing his mama on the lips when he’s a teenager or even younger than that, but that will be his decision to make. Little by little, I see him growing up, not wanting hugs and kisses at the bus stop or sometimes in public. It’s his choice and I choose to respect it, letting him know it’s ok to make his own choices.
Everyone has a right to their opinions. Even experts can’t seem to agree on what’s right and wrong with this “kissing your child on the lips” picture.
It’s just amazing that something as innocent as a parent’s kiss on the lips to show their child that they are dearly loved, can be construed as something horrible and demeaning.