It’s amazing how blind people can be to so many things when it comes to love. Yes, love is amazing and a feeling we should always cherish as much as we possibly can. Yada yada yada …
Good things and bad things have happened to many people, because of love. In fact, I bet whoever is reading this will go through the first couple of paragraphs (perhaps just up to this point) and start firing through their many stories that talk about love. Then maybe even put a negative spin to this post. Who knows, but let’s have it if you will.
No, I’m not a hater. I love being loved, but honestly, I think it’s over-rated, especially for those who are in the delusional state of getting engaged or at least wanting to get there and thinking that once you’ve tied the knot, you’ll have a beautiful family, a wonderful husband, and live life happily ever after.
Marriage in a Nutshell
Here’s my take on marriage in a nutshell:
- First comes love
- Then comes marriage
- Then comes a baby and hopefully a baby carriage
You fall in love and somehow catch the full attention of some guy you think is your perfect match.
You plan through the stress of an expensive wedding, have the wedding, and be in la-la land as you go through your first year talking about being in disbelief of the fact that you still can’t believe you’re Mr. and Mrs. John Smith.
After marriage, there’s only one more step to complete the circle of love, which is to have a baby. Agreeing to have a child is the ultimate sign of commitment for a couple.
A piece of paper that says you’re married doesn’t bind you for life as much as having children can. Divorce is always an option for couples, but when kids are involved, both parents usually try to have communication of some sort for the sake of the kids. When couples get divorced without kids, they have no reason for further communication. They can move on with their life and be done with each other … for good.
After wedding bells and the “honeymoon stage” comes the realities of marriage. You can say what you want based on your own relationship and the struggles you’ve been through, but every couple is different. A majority, however, will tell you that it does involve hard work.
Days start to get repetitive, moods will change, the ugly sides to each other will eventually come out. Again, each couple is different, problems will be different, and situations will be different. All will happen in different ways, but it always ends in one of two — together or apart.
I remember meeting an older couple a few years back, who looked inseparable. They looked very happy and seemed to understand each other quite well. I saw them every week and they were always respectful of each other and knew each other very well. They were married 40 years.
I asked this couple how they’ve managed to stay so happy all these years. Then they told me their story. They both explained that it was not always easy. They went through a lot of hard work to get where they were. They explained the truly tough times they had, how often they fought, and how close they were to getting divorced (several times).