I’m about to share a story about my child that kept me up for days. For some of you, it could be nothing at all and for others, it could be funny, while worth some raised eyebrows.
A few days ago, I asked my son to write on a birthday card I bought for his little bestie. He and this little girl are great friends. They have known each other since Preschool and are now in the same Kindergarten class. They have activities together and are often at each other’s houses.
As he was writing, my 6 year old refused to show my husband and I what he’d written, but since we couldn’t fight the urge to be nosy, we waited until he went to bed. What we read blew our minds! Here, take a look …
Now I’m not writing this to give anybody any kind of advice, because I’m going to admit right now that I’m not an expert in parenting. In fact, I really don’t know how anyone could be since kids are so unpredictable. So if you’re going through a similar situation and hope to find some expert info from this post, I’m here to tell you that I’m just a parent who’s worried about the “mean gene” that’s suddenly developed in her kid.
That letter kept me awake the entire night. Of course it didn’t help that I spent half of it googling for advice on how and what to do next.
So far Google has helped me find that my child is mean because of all the electronics time he gets and that he’s maybe not hugged enough. Perhaps he’s hungry, tired, and not spiritual enough. He might also be lacking more social engagements. Perhaps I spoil him more than I realize or maybe I yell much more than I should … The suggestions and possibilities all hit me, making me feel like a horrible parent.
I was raised with an iron fist and if I did something wrong, I got in big trouble for it. My parents never messed around, but they also didn’t parent the way most of us do today. There was no hugging and and positive encouraging talks of any sort. There was just a lot of yelling, disappointed looks and weird punishments. Yet, I think I turned out alright and just like many kids, find behavioral problems to blame on my parents.
Despite the way I was raised, I have no intentions of parenting the way my parents did. In fact, because my mom guilt barometer is always at an all time high, I don’t think my child should get anything less than a hugging, loving, caring relationship from me. All the more reason I can’t figure out why in the world he’s had such an attitude adjustment.
The next day, I sat him down and with the softest voice I could possibly have, I talked to him about what it means when we give cards to someone. “Cards are meant to make the other person feel special,” I said. I went on to explain how hurt she would feel if she was told that she wasn’t his favorite person.
After sitting with him for about half an hour and going through the talk, which I thought would help him understand, I asked him if he could make her another card. His response was, “well, I already spent a long time making that one.”
What else would you have done? Any suggestions?