Are you there yet? Are you at the midlife stage of your life when you can’t help but wonder what else there is to it?
Last week, my dad thought he was being funny by sending a group quote to the entire family that said,
I couldn’t help feeling sad about the fact that my parents are in this age group and that this joke is in fact more true than funny. I thought about some of the people we knew who have passed and how nothing in the world actually changes because of it. Sure, there are moments when we (and others who are special to them) may occasionally reminisce with memories of them, but the reality is, they are gone and we have no idea whatever becomes of them.
How much do your beliefs truly affect your life?
When someone dies, we might try to convince ourselves that we will see them soon. Depending on what people believe, you might hear, “they’re just resting” or “they’re in a better place now.” Are they, though? And what of your legacy? How much does that really matter if you’re just dust and have no ability to care?
My cousin told me I needed to start going to church. She feels it would help me live my life with more of a purpose, because having something to believe in, whether it’s true or not, can help give me more peace of mind than having nothing.
I went to church for about 30 years, trying to believe in something and hoping my heart would accept God just like those people I meet in church who live and breathe for the lord they think is going to help take them to a kingdom far beyond where we are now. I always liked the idea of having a true connection and understanding of what will be. Unfortunately, doubt always lingers in my head, no matter how hard I’ve tried to accept “the word.”
Aside from my dad’s funny quote reminder, I’ve been thinking a lot more about life in general. I think about the fact that some of my friends from high school already have kids who are attending their senior prom and realize that nearly 20 years have actually passed since I graduated high school and wonder whether or not I’m actually living my life to the fullest.
What does it mean to live life to the fullest?
Seriously, what does it really mean to live your life to the fullest? If I tried to get into Hollywood to be a movie star so I could be rich and famous, would that be enough? What if I tried to convince a billionaire to feed half the hungry people in the world? Would that be enough? What if I jumped out of airplanes and ate at every restaurant in the world? Would that be enough? What does “living life to the fullest” really mean?
Does living life to the fullest mean that I would have to do something that makes me truly happy? Right now I know that what would make me truly happy is to lounge around for as long as possible, eat sushi all the time, and watch as many movies as I could without being judged. That’s what would make ME truly happy.
Then I look at my son and my husband and remember just how my heart seems to skip beats when I see how happy they are. Of course it’s not always like that, but when those lovely days happen, I know just how amazing each of those moments are. At those times, I feel like I understand what “living in the moment” means.
Although I will never know if my life will have meaning or whatever that actually means, I do know that my own happiness does include seeing joy in the people in the people I love. So for now, my living life to the fullest means living to see more happy moments with all the people who matter most to me.