I remember things so differently from the times I was young compared to parenthood today. I don’t know about you, but I was disciplined with an iron hand. This meant if I didn’t follow the rules, all my parents had to do was take one look at me and fear put me in place very quickly.
My brother, on the other hand, was raised very differently. In fact, he was raised in a completely opposite extreme. He was spoiled to no end!
Now that we’re older, there is definitely a significance in our entire outlook on life. My brother has a tendency to completely disrespect my parents. In fact, so much so sometimes that I get really embarrassed for them.
Sometimes I can’t help but get mad at the way they raised him, but I feel as if nothing I say or do could turn back time. I fear it’s almost too late to help him change this awful behavior.
3 Important Discipline Rules to Live By
Do you ever worry about your future child? How and who he will become? Remember that as long as your kid is living under your roof and eating your food, you still have the right to discipline him.
The following are 3 important rules to help instill the values and disciplines you bestow on your child.
- Stick to your guns
- Mistakes are to be understood, not denied
- Lead by example
These days, I see too many parents who lets guilt get in the way of disciplining their kids. All the attempted rules in providing a solid foundation for a child’s future are slowly shot, because of convenience and the parents’ lack of strength in following through with a disciplinary action.
As I was shopping today, I noticed a mom tell her kid to stop running in circles. Everyone passing by were having to wait and sometimes pass through other aisles to avoid running into this kid. I was worried it was going to turn into a complete disaster and he was going to get hurt.
I walked behind them and watched as this mom looks at her child and say, “stop running in circles or I’m putting you in the cart.” The store wasn’t very big so I saw her several times more throughout my shopping trip. Her child continued to run around, but somehow never ended up in the cart. Then, while standing in line, I noticed mom holding her little one as he cried, because he’d slipped and fallen.
Sadly, the child got hurt, but may have only learned the lesson that running in circles at the grocery store could result in a painful experience. It has an unlikely potential to help him understand the importance of listening to his mom and showing her some respect for doing so. It’s an added point towards not having to listen to mom, because her threats can be dismissed at any time.
On Saturday, my son took a Tae Kwon Do test to get his yellow belt. All the kids who qualified to take the test were given enough time to prepare for it. Everyone was to arrive at 9:00 AM.
At about 10:00 AM, an 8 year old kid arrived an hour late. The Master asked him why he was late and his response was, “I had basketball, Sir.”
The Master replied, “You can’t be late. Next time, you have to make a choice.”
The little boy continued his test while tears ran down his eyes. He was clearly sobbing, but kept going.
I could tell from the look on the faces of the other parents that they were not happy. The boy was publicly humiliated along with his mom who looked so hurt and embarrassed for her child.
Now, you may disagree, but I think what the Master did was quite alright. I signed up my child because I know he was going to enjoy Tae Kwon Do, but most of all, because they promised to help him with his confidence and discipline. So far in just the last 6 weeks, I have noticed a significant improvement in behavior, especially at home.
We, parents and students, were given a choice with the test. According to the Master, all the students given the option were ready. The time was set and we all had to put our affairs together to meet that time. It’s a bit like taking the SAT’s for high school students. You were given a time and if you can’t take it, you have to wait for the next opportunity. It was simple as that.
Teaching a child responsibility at an early age can only help be a positive benefit towards a healthy future. Life isn’t going to be full of flowers. It’s going to throw many curve balls. We cannot possibly learn how to manage them if we haven’t practiced and learned the proper skills to manage them.
Believe it or not, our kids DO pay attention to what we do. How we act and respond to situations are embedded in their minds. They may not follow it directly or at anytime soon, but some day, they will remember situations you may think would never come up again.
Do you have examples of mistakes you’ve made with the rules mentioned above? Do you think it’s enough to re-evaluate the way you discipline your kid(s)?