Let’s face it, most of us are judgmental beings. Whether we admit it or know it at all, we all have the ability to be. As a parent, you will most likely encounter a situation where you might find yourself wondering what in the world is happening with that kid or that parent.
During my son’s first year into the world, I was that overbearing, super careful, natural health mom who hovered over her son. It drove my husband and everyone else crazy.
It took me a while to realize that along with my new behavior also came the judgy mom bug. I was in a bubble where I thought I was the smart mom who knew everything. Little did I know that I was actually a rookie, just stepping into a new world with a whole lot to learn.
Over the last few years, I have learned a lot about the infant stage, the toddler stage, and now the preschool stage. I’m dreading the teen stage and worst of all, the stage where I know my son will eventually have to leave my house.
Through all these stages, I see kids and their different behaviors. My son was at the playground one day and a boy just went up to him and scratched him on the neck. After my son screamed, the mom of the little boy grabbed her son and walked away. I wanted so badly to walk up to her and smack her but it took every bit of me to hold back.
The scratch left a scar on my son’s neck. The scar now reminds me of the moment I just stood back and didn’t say or do anything.
I feel as if I was appointed the motherhood position, because I was thought worthy to be the protector of one little person. I used to think I failed, because I said nothing and did nothing when he got hurt, but after a while I realized that it had nothing to do with that. It takes much more for a person to sit back and not fight and understand, rather than someone who lashes out without rationally trying to make sense of the situation as a whole.
Parents belong to a community, where most have a mutual understanding that we are all trying our very best. Some of us might not like how we look at one another and we may not always agree on how we parent, but ultimately we know that it is our duty to love and protect our own children.
The mom at the playground might not have realized what was going on. Luckily, my son wasn’t that badly hurt, but whatever the case, I was never going to see her again. It made no difference to me how she parents her child, just as long as my son never has to see him again.
My son is now 5 years old and he has met a lot of other kids since then. I’ve learned a lot from my fellow parent friends, including the fact that it’s never my job to tell them how to parent their kids. As long as my kid isn’t affected by theirs and I see no violence going on, then it really isn’t my business to say or do anything.
What are your thoughts on the subject of speaking out to parents about their kids’ behavior, especially when you know it’s not the way yours would or should act?