I was waiting for my son to finish one of his classes and overheard a new “mom of one” talking to her friend as they judged and belted out remarks about another mom. The mom they were talking about seemed to “neglect” her kids as they walked around with dirt on their faces and proceeded to play with other “dirty kids.”
Can you relate?
Have you all seen the Luvs First Child, Second Child commercial?
How did that make you feel? Can you relate or don’t you get it?
My friend is about to give birth and is freaking out, because she’s so worried about whether or not she’s actually ready.
“I just don’t understand the swaddling thing. Am I supposed to wrap them tight? How often do I do it? Is it absolutely necessary?” she asked one question after another.
My response was always, “just stay calm, you will learn from experience soon enough.”
To be honest, that’s how you get through life, isn’t it? Learning from experience. Doctors, nurses, and all professionals can have you read and read all day long but perfecting anything will always require interactive practice.
Are you a paranoid parent?
As a mom of one 4 year old, I must say, I fell into the paranoid parent category. I heard it all, but listened only to the motherly instinct I was blessed with.
Believe me, I worried A LOT. My son was hospitalized after he was only 2.5 months old and I worried to death about everything. The doctor said he had a bacterial infection. How he got it or what kind it was, was not certain.
I thought about whether or not his illness was my fault and the many scenarios he could have gotten it. Did I not wash my hands enough? Did I accidentally drop a binky or his bottle somewhere? Did an ill person breathe on him? It just went on and on. I couldn’t stop worrying.
5 days after my son was in the NICU for an “unknown” reason that was causing his temperature to rise, we were finally told that it was because he had a urinary tract infection. Before I could ask whether it could be something I’d done, I was told it was common for little boys under 3 months and common for girls over the months of age.
I could still remember when my friend’s baby was only 8 months old and she was writing down each and every feeding, bathroom moment, and just about everything her baby did. She worried A LOT! Then 3 kids later … a new mom evolved. I’ve witnessed her 2nd child try eat dog food, her third child writing on walls, and most things only imaginative toddlers would do!
I have a feeling that as a mom of just one, you have more time to worry about everything, big or small. You also have time to pay more attention to all their needs. Having 2 or more kids requires more juggling and attention away from yourself as well as your spouse.
So to all the “judgey” moms out there, please try to be more understanding. Everyone’s situation is different. Some moms may not have the luxury of having a sitter, nanny, or anyone who could help them out. Some moms may have completely exhausted every energy they have that they simply can’t do more than what you expect. And some moms may simply not care, but that’s on them and not you. So before you judge, just remember the person you’re judging may have a situation far beyond what you can only see from the outside.