voiceBoks® - The Voice of Parenthood

How to Decide If Being a Stay at Home Mom Is Right for You

I grew up with a stay at home mom, something that I didn’t entirely appreciate until I became a mother myself five years ago. I am now a mother of three, all under the age of five. So I definitely have a new understanding of what that title really means and everything that it entails.

being a stay at home mom

Be Prepared for Imbalance

My mother stayed at home with all five of her children, her first born in 1982 and her fifth born in 1997. She dedicated herself to our needs, making sure she was there for us all the time, constantly on-call. She was, and still is, nothing short of a superhero.

While every stay-at-home will find her own balance, finding ways to strike out on her, whether for a full-on girls’ weekend or an hour grocery shopping alone, the reality is that most days are wonderfully imbalanced.

Love Can Change All Things

Before my son was born in 2012 I had no idea if staying at home was something I was interested in. But, the moment we locked eyes after a short but difficult labor and birth, I knew I would do anything to make sure he had everything he needed – including me.

I quit teaching full-time that year and have stayed home ever since. I do work from home as a freelance writer, but my number one priority is and always will be my three children. Oh, and let’s not forget the husband either.

Now, five years in, I have seen a good chunk of what being a stay-at-home mom really entails. Since then, I’ve had glimpses of what I strive to be one day, because my mom was such an incredible role model.


3 Important Considerations to Make Before You Become a Stay at Home Mom

If you’re considering choosing to be a stay-at-home mom, there are a few things you should have.

  1. Patience
  2. Unlike being the boss or manager of other grown people, you will be managing children. Most children typically don’t know how to be managed. There won’t be a single day that your nerves or temper won’t be tested. Being able to be patient will help you get through those trying times.

  3. Humor
  4. When you make your bed only to have it promptly bounced on or organize your pillows only to see them thrown on the floor, there are two choices you have. The first, and least productive, is to get mad. The second, and much healthier option is to find it amusing.

    Should you laugh in front of your kids? Probably not unless you want to encourage it. Should you be able to take it in stride and appreciate it as something you will one day look back on and miss? Absolutely.

  5. Commitment
  6. Choosing to be a stay-at-home mom is a huge commitment, and one that shouldn’t be taken lightly. I’ve heard many women, including my mom, say, “Oh, I’m just a stay-at-home mom.”

    Just?! Don’t underestimate or devalue what you do. Regardless of comments you may hear, stay committed to your family and children and you will reap the rewards ten-fold.

how to be a sahm

Not everyone is cut out to be a stay at home mom and not everyone wants to be one. That’s fine! As women and especially mothers, we all need to support and respect each other’s decisions. But, if you do choose to be a stay-at-home mom, know that it will be the most difficult and rewarding role you’ll ever take on.

Julie Schoen

Julie Schoen

Julie is a stay-at-home mom of three and a freelance writer. She has her MFA in non-fiction creative writing and is also the founder of Buzzy Blogs. She lives in the high desert of New Mexico's foothills with her family and their dog, Watson.


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  • This is an insightful read! With today’s times, roles of moms tend to change but it all depends on what the person wants, for sure. If I ever became a mom, I’m strugglying with this decision too so this was quite a good read!

  • Wow! 15 years for your mom. I’m..let’s see.. 7 years into being a stay at home mom. It is tiring and people think it’s easy. A niece 10 years younger than me even said.. it’s so much easier huh. (That I’m at home versus being in the office). Wow! The things people say. But I know the kids need me. And it’s the best thing for us as a family. So at the end of the day, it really is about what every mom decides will work for her. And no judgment whatever each decides.

  • I liked how you call your mom a superhero for all her efforts to making her kids her priority, it’s very sweet. I haven’t had the blessing of childbirth but you opened my eyes to something I also never would have considered doing. I know some countries are granted maternity leave but it not all mothers can use the full amount of time off to spend with their child because they must go back to work. You are truly fortunate to be able to have kids of your own and spend every second with them.

  • These are some important things to think about before you become a stay at home Mom. It’s really critical to consider all the implications before you make this type of change in your life.

  • What an awesome read! So inspiring for stay-at-home moms! I am also, a stay-at-home mom, and agree with everything you’ve advised! I love it! It’s a tough decision to make, but is so rewarding and worth it!

  • We run our house on patience and humor. Those are so necessary with three boys. I think my patience was also better because I did not have children until early thirties. I knew I wanted to stay home before they even came. I had all these plans that went completely out the window because I quickly learned nothing is predictable. But I LOVE my time with my boys and it’s worth every minute of it.

  • I was unable to stay home with my first born, but when baby #2 arrived I was able to stay home part time which eventually turned into full time. The difference in my children was very relevant. Some positive and some negative. I wouldn’t of changed it for the world as this is such and important time in your children’s lives. My oldest is more independent and and care free and wasn’t a clingy child but by my daughter staying home she was more sheltered and had a hard time with separating when school started.

  • It’s hard to be a stay at home mom because there’s a lot to do at home. There’s also the worry of not being able to keep up with business and social life that other moms can enjoy. Patience is really a must.

About Author

Julie Schoen

Julie Schoen

Julie is a stay-at-home mom of three and a freelance writer. She has her MFA in non-fiction creative writing and is also the founder of Buzzy Blogs. She lives in the high desert of New Mexico's foothills with her family and their dog, Watson.