Does your teen appear to have problems with anger? Is his/her behavior so defiant that it challenges the way you see yourself as a parent?
Defiant teens tend to have major temper tantrums and irate outbursts. These can be tough for most parents to deal with on a daily basis. However, we would like parents to know that you’re not helpless when it comes to your angry teen.
Oftentimes, parents get so frustrated by the defiant behaviors of teens that they actually contemplate giving up altogether. Some feel like all the efforts and attempts they make at helping their teens just seem to cause more conflict between them and their teens. These conflicts leads to higher levels of distrust, tension and miscommunications between parents and teens. This can cause your teen to spiral even further out of control.
Parents dealing with defiance and teens have better chances of success with the use of subtlety. When parents try to subtly change their kids’ aggressive behaviors, and their relationships with them, they tend to trigger more empathy between themselves and teens. This can lead in much more positive, long-lasting improvements in the attitudes of teens.
5 Parental Tips for Dealing with Defiance and Teens
So, how should you handle your teen’s defiant behavior? You’ve probably heard all sorts of suggestions, from ignoring the problem to introducing corporate punishment to the equation. Well, here are five tips to help you deal with your defiant teen’s issues in healthy, positive ways:
1) Try to Figure out the Root Cause
Making an effort to discovery what the root cause of your teen’s defiant behavior is can really push you towards a positive direction. Teens have ways of blowing things out of proportion in the eyes of adults, and misdirecting those emotions. In other words, if your teen has problems with a girlfriend/boyfriend, friend, neighbor or teacher, he/she might take it out on you. So, sit down and talk with your teens regularly to try to get to the root of what may be causing the defiant behavior.
2) Keep Teens Busy
According to experts, keeping teens busy helps keep teens out of trouble. Teens who stay involved in various activities also tend to have a much more positive outlook on life in general than those with a lot of idle time on their hands.
3) Spend Quality Time with Your Teen
Parents can easily get caught up with the daily hassles of adult-life, such as finances, work, bills and managing their families. This is normal. But, your teen also needs to remain on your list of the day’s top priorities, every single day. Teens who feel like they’re being ignored act out in order to get the attention they feel they deserve, even if it’s negative attention. So, spend quality time with your teen each day, having deep, meaningful conversations. That way, they don’t have to seek negative attention just trying to get any kind of attention from you.
4) Choose Your Battles Wisely
It’s quite common for parents to be at odds with teens. But, some of these battles simply aren’t worth fighting for, generally speaking. So, it’s important that you make serious distinctions between various struggles with your teen. Ask yourself whether or not the argument is absolutely necessary, or can the subject be left alone altogether.
5) Work Together to Handle Issues
No matter how independent your teen seems to be, he/she doesn’t prefer to handle issues alone. So, make an effort to consistently talk to, as well as listen to your teen. And, remember that advice is not always necessary. Sometimes, the appropriate thing to do is just listen to your teen intently.