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patience between husband and wife

Love Is Patient, Love Is Kind, but a Husband and Wife Aren’t Always

I love my husband, but admit he does have a special way of annoying me from time to time. There are times, however, when I think about the things I say and do and wonder how in the world he doesn’t just want to wack me, but still manages to hug me and do things that make me feel really good.

patience between husband and wife

This week, my husband and I got into a really big fight about a comment he made, which he thought was just a big fat joke. It was something that had to do with me going shopping without makeup on, which I drove into 3 levels of historical arguments that turned me into what my 6 year old now calls, “Shouty Mommy.”

The fight took about 3 hours to end with me having a full blown misfit about all the things he does that are just out of line, inconsiderate and sometimes selfish. Whatever response he had to all my comments, I managed to find a way to slap him in the face with it.

husband wife arguments

After a very long period of back and forth bickering, something suddenly came over me and I watched as he sat, begging me to forgive him. This man, who I just yelled at irrationally for hours was looking at me with his puppy dog eyes, saying everything he could to get me to forgive him.

My husband, despite all my complaints, is amazing. He’s put up with so much and still manages to love me all the same. My family, for example, is full of weird vices and somehow he always finds the ability to be understanding and patient through it all.

I see so many posts about women, wives and significant others complaining about the same stuff I do, but I don’t actually see too many posts about how understanding men can be. I’ve heard about the increase in divorce rates and sometimes wonder if it’s really due to the fact that our men are just tired of putting up with our shit. Nowadays, there’s so much talk about gender equality, but is it possible for us to just be irrational about some of what we’re asking for?

love is patient

There’s a reason men and women were created as male and female, right? Biologically, there are strengths men have that women don’t and vice versa. We are special creatures because of those biological differences. So why does it seem as if women are feeling more and more dissatisfied with the men they married, hence increasing the divorce rate?

Yes, I feel as if I’m constantly complaining about the same stuff with my husband. He’s not affectionate enough or he doesn’t put the dishes away on his own … the list goes on. He just doesn’t read my mind the way I want him to! Why would he do that to me?!

Sometimes I get my head screwed on straight and reason with his explanation … “I’m just not as complicated as you think. Things are mostly black and white to men. You tell him to go to the grocery store and he’ll buy exactly what’s on your list, while women will have a list and still come home with bags of things that were unnecessary to get.”

While I sit thinking of how little he cares about me, because he’s not thinking of ways to be romantic, he’s actually just comfortably thinking of what time Game of Thrones is on. He rarely thinks about our relationship, because he’s so comfortable in it, while I think of how much it lacks.

Sometimes I do get jealous when I have friends with husbands who do romantic things for them, but I also wonder how big their stash of disapprovals are for one another? Just take a look at Facebook, for example. Do you ever notice that people generally don’t ever post negative things that are happening in their lives? It’s mostly fun, exciting things or places they go so their friends and family could see how less boring they really are.

patience and love quotes

I’ve seen too many couples fall apart for different things and too often than not, it’s the man who can’t understand the woman. My husband, for richer or poorer, in fatness and makeup-less can love me til death do us part. I believe it! Our relationship is not without challenges. Believe me when I say so, but I do know that it’s a two way thing. As much as I want him to always show much how much he loves me, I feel I have my own wifely duties to fulfill.

So to my husband, if you’re reading this, I just want to say, “Thank you! I love you for many things, but most of all … you’re the peace I need in my heart.”

Karlyn Bishop

Karlyn Bishop

Karlyn Bishop is the proud mommy to little Oliver and wife to hubby. She is a resident of Laguna Beach and a big player in the web's large social media circle.

8 comments

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  • Dealing with another person that is not yourself can be difficult at times. I always try to think about not dwelling on the small things and I only try to bring up the big things that bother me. Overall, my bf is a wonderful man and I am very thankful for him.

  • I have been married almost 30 years, with my hubby for 33 years. We are in the best place we have been in our whole marriage. The high school years were the toughest for us with three kids, I traveled a lot, we were planning college for three kids and were left with a big house in the suburbs. One day I said, let’s sell this place and buy a farm so we can enjoy gardening and DIY projects that we love. We did that for two years, then moved to Florida and living our dreams!

  • I’m currently in a weird situation with my emotions, so I have been taking everything and blowing it out of proportion. This was such a nice reader and reminder that we are all human. I have said numerous times I love my husband but there are times I don’t like him mostly his comments, but he is getting better. Thank you for sharing.

  • Marriage is the funniest friendship Ive ever had because no matter how much you hate them at times you love them so much more. My husband is also not romantic and where he lacks in romance he overwhelmingly makes up in thoughtfulness. He’s not good with planning but he makes up for it in his handy man abilities. He’s not spontaneous but he’s down for my whatevers. I love him.

  • This is all so true! Marriage and relationships in general are so difficult, it’s hard to be forgiving sometimes and be patient. I love this though, it’s a great reminder to be patient and kind even when we don’t feel like it!

  • Marriage is hard, no doubt. It’s really easy to nit pick over the small things, but doing it too much can be catastrophic. You’re right though. Men and women should play off each others’ strengths because we aren’t equal in all areas. A lot of men aren’t that complicated. They should want to know that they’re appreciated and needed.

  • This is so true. I’m no longer married, but, there were times when my ex-husband and I would go at it. My problem was that I had no patience for BS and if I felt he was doing something stupid, I couldn’t keep my mouth shut lol. May be why I’m divorced! LOL

  • I am passing thru a hard time on my relationship, it is great to read this. I love the quote of being upset for the husband for not apologiizing for what he did on your dream. Communication is so important on a relationship. It takes two to tango and both parties actually need to work, not just one side. Thank you for sharing.