I love my husband, but admit he does have a special way of annoying me from time to time. There are times, however, when I think about the things I say and do and wonder how in the world he doesn’t just want to wack me, but still manages to hug me and do things that make me feel really good.
This week, my husband and I got into a really big fight about a comment he made, which he thought was just a big fat joke. It was something that had to do with me going shopping without makeup on, which I drove into 3 levels of historical arguments that turned me into what my 6 year old now calls, “Shouty Mommy.”
The fight took about 3 hours to end with me having a full blown misfit about all the things he does that are just out of line, inconsiderate and sometimes selfish. Whatever response he had to all my comments, I managed to find a way to slap him in the face with it.
After a very long period of back and forth bickering, something suddenly came over me and I watched as he sat, begging me to forgive him. This man, who I just yelled at irrationally for hours was looking at me with his puppy dog eyes, saying everything he could to get me to forgive him.
My husband, despite all my complaints, is amazing. He’s put up with so much and still manages to love me all the same. My family, for example, is full of weird vices and somehow he always finds the ability to be understanding and patient through it all.
I see so many posts about women, wives and significant others complaining about the same stuff I do, but I don’t actually see too many posts about how understanding men can be. I’ve heard about the increase in divorce rates and sometimes wonder if it’s really due to the fact that our men are just tired of putting up with our shit. Nowadays, there’s so much talk about gender equality, but is it possible for us to just be irrational about some of what we’re asking for?
There’s a reason men and women were created as male and female, right? Biologically, there are strengths men have that women don’t and vice versa. We are special creatures because of those biological differences. So why does it seem as if women are feeling more and more dissatisfied with the men they married, hence increasing the divorce rate?
Yes, I feel as if I’m constantly complaining about the same stuff with my husband. He’s not affectionate enough or he doesn’t put the dishes away on his own … the list goes on. He just doesn’t read my mind the way I want him to! Why would he do that to me?!
Sometimes I get my head screwed on straight and reason with his explanation … “I’m just not as complicated as you think. Things are mostly black and white to men. You tell him to go to the grocery store and he’ll buy exactly what’s on your list, while women will have a list and still come home with bags of things that were unnecessary to get.”
While I sit thinking of how little he cares about me, because he’s not thinking of ways to be romantic, he’s actually just comfortably thinking of what time Game of Thrones is on. He rarely thinks about our relationship, because he’s so comfortable in it, while I think of how much it lacks.
Sometimes I do get jealous when I have friends with husbands who do romantic things for them, but I also wonder how big their stash of disapprovals are for one another? Just take a look at Facebook, for example. Do you ever notice that people generally don’t ever post negative things that are happening in their lives? It’s mostly fun, exciting things or places they go so their friends and family could see how less boring they really are.
I’ve seen too many couples fall apart for different things and too often than not, it’s the man who can’t understand the woman. My husband, for richer or poorer, in fatness and makeup-less can love me til death do us part. I believe it! Our relationship is not without challenges. Believe me when I say so, but I do know that it’s a two way thing. As much as I want him to always show much how much he loves me, I feel I have my own wifely duties to fulfill.
So to my husband, if you’re reading this, I just want to say, “Thank you! I love you for many things, but most of all … you’re the peace I need in my heart.”