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married life

Marriage – Does It Really End in Happily Ever After?

It’s amazing how blind people can be to so many things when it comes to love. Yes, love is amazing and a feeling we should always cherish as much as we possibly can. Yada yada yada …

married life

Good things and bad things have happened to many people, because of love. In fact, I bet whoever is reading this will go through the first couple of paragraphs (perhaps just up to this point) and start firing through their many stories that talk about love. Then maybe even put a negative spin to this post. Who knows, but let’s have it if you will.

No, I’m not a hater. I love being loved, but honestly, I think it’s over-rated, especially for those who are in the delusional state of getting engaged or at least wanting to get there and thinking that once you’ve tied the knot, you’ll have a beautiful family, a wonderful husband, and live life happily ever after.

Marriage in a Nutshell

Here’s my take on marriage in a nutshell:

  • First comes love
  • You fall in love and somehow catch the full attention of some guy you think is your perfect match.

  • Then comes marriage
  • You plan through the stress of an expensive wedding, have the wedding, and be in la-la land as you go through your first year talking about being in disbelief of the fact that you still can’t believe you’re Mr. and Mrs. John Smith.

  • Then comes a baby and hopefully a baby carriage
  • After marriage, there’s only one more step to complete the circle of love, which is to have a baby. Agreeing to have a child is the ultimate sign of commitment for a couple.

    A piece of paper that says you’re married doesn’t bind you for life as much as having children can. Divorce is always an option for couples, but when kids are involved, both parents usually try to have communication of some sort for the sake of the kids. When couples get divorced without kids, they have no reason for further communication. They can move on with their life and be done with each other … for good.

good marriage strong family unit

After wedding bells and the “honeymoon stage” comes the realities of marriage. You can say what you want based on your own relationship and the struggles you’ve been through, but every couple is different. A majority, however, will tell you that it does involve hard work.

Days start to get repetitive, moods will change, the ugly sides to each other will eventually come out. Again, each couple is different, problems will be different, and situations will be different. All will happen in different ways, but it always ends in one of two — together or apart.

I remember meeting an older couple a few years back, who looked inseparable. They looked very happy and seemed to understand each other quite well. I saw them every week and they were always respectful of each other and knew each other very well. They were married 40 years.

I asked this couple how they’ve managed to stay so happy all these years. Then they told me their story. They both explained that it was not always easy. They went through a lot of hard work to get where they were. They explained the truly tough times they had, how often they fought, and how close they were to getting divorced (several times).

Karlyn Bishop

Karlyn Bishop

Karlyn Bishop is the proud mommy to little Oliver and wife to hubby. She is a resident of Laguna Beach and a big player in the web's large social media circle.

27 comments

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  • I have been married for 11 years. It has been the most beautiful experience I have ever had. I am grateful for my husband and all that he does for our family. But that does not mean that everything is easy. It can be challenging at times..but totally worth it!

  • Great post, love is WORK! Both people have to learn to work on it and be willing. I always make an effort every day and hope he does the same but we still have our arguments and bad days after 20 years. It is very tough.

  • Marriage is such hard work. I see so many of my friends just giving up and then ask me how I have stayed married for so long… It is work. We grow as individuals and have to maintain a connection to our partner while growing.

  • I don’t know many people who have stayed married and saw their marriage through but some manage to. It’s those that take their vows before God seriously that find a way to make it work.

  • I’d say a marriage is just a beginning – and it is a hard work. There are some things that can kill any relationship – routine, taking things for granted and most of all – lack of communication. I’ve seen it too many times. People stop talking with each other and they slowly put a distance. Both sides have to work in order to keep the marriage going – then there is “happily ever after”.

  • I can definitely relate to needing a little space from time to time. I feel that it makes you miss your significant other more. I’ve been in a relationship for 18 years, and I’m in no hurry to get married.

  • I love this post! You are spot on with what your saying. Marriage and love itself is hard work, even more so when you have children and jobs and everything else that piles on top you soon forget who you are as a couple, spending quality time together away from being a mum and dad, without thinking about work, just the two of you spending that time listening, joking and generally having some quality time together now and again to keep that spark there will help to as its really easy to lose with lots of distractions going on xx

  • After Love should come Knowledge. You should get to know the person that you are considering marrying down to the nitty gritty of child rearing and how they handle finances.

  • My BFF has been married over 60 years and she has one secret: not all togetherness. In other words, they take a little time apart. She needs it more than he does. A little trip, a long weekend–just some space.

  • Relationships are never easy, regardless if you’re married or not. Marriage just happens to be a partnership that requires you to be more committed, something like that. It’s nice to see people grow old together and treasure all those years. Sometimes, forever is not just for certain couples and it’s a reality we have to accept.

  • No expensive wedding here, we eloped to Gibraltar and found our witnesses on the street 5 minutes before the ceremony, it was perfect! No children for us, he has two from a previous marriage, and they’re soon off to university. We have shared goals, and even when we don’t like each other, we love each other, which is the important thing if we’re planning to stay together (we are!) I think marriage looks very different to different people.

  • Marriage is a lot of work. It takes work every single care, and if you want something you have to work for it. I love my husband and I value our marriage so I make an effort.