Mommy Peace to End Mommy Wars

It’s been a rebuilding year in our household. The year of going back to the foundation of our home and family, and to make sure we were all on the right track… together.

After working outside of the home and pouring my life into other people more than I poured into my family, I came home and we decided to homeschool. With children ages 9, 6, and 3, this was quite the undertaking for someone who has always spent most of her daytime hours AWAY from the house.


I could write an entire book about what all we learned throughout the year, but one lesson stands out more than the others. It’s more of an observation made, really. My observation is that the massive army of us who are called “Mom” seem to be at war with each other. Seriously. It gets ugly sometimes.

I’m going to try to be careful not to generalize, and I know this does not describe ALL of us. But I think if each one of us digs down deeply enough, we will find that we all have extreme opinions in one area or another. This post is just to share some of the extreme situations that have dropped my jaw… I could go into more detail with every one of these, but here are the bullets:

• Homeschool moms think public schools are corrupting our kids so public school moms feel not good enough if they have to work and put their kids in public school.

• Traditional school moms think homeschoolers shelter their kids and that they are missing out on childhood, so homeschool moms start to question their decision (or they fight back).

Nursing moms think their way is the only healthy way and they voice that opinion, so the mom whose milk doesn’t come in feels like she is a failure to her child.

• Moms who work outside of the home judge stay-at-home moms and vice versa.

• Pinterest moms think that moms who don’t make every cupcake live up to the latest fad are letting their kids down. Then comes Mommy guilt.

• Moms who choose to live more simply think Pinterest moms are spoiling their children. Then comes defensiveness.

These are just a FEW examples. We could further go into religious divisions, serving at church, divisions within homeschoolers, divisions about priorities, divisions about having a nanny or maid…. The list is unending.

The point is we are all struggling to do this thing called being a mom. I think I speak for most of us when I say it’s the hardest “job” I’ve ever had. Most days, I feel like a failure. And I feel that way enough without having to look at Pinterest or Facebook or blogs or any other social media outlet that we choose to bash each other on. All you have to do is read the comments on any given social media news piece to see how much anger and hatred is being spread around.

Let’s be honest, girls. Life is hard. We need each other. We need to recognize that each one of us is a beautiful piece of God’s creation. He made us for community, for fellowship, to love each other and to share His love with others.

If we are too focused on being at war with each other, in order to somehow feel better about the failure we feel within ourselves, how can we have peace?

It’s time that we learn to love each other despite our differences. We don’t have to agree on everything, right? Just because you have a strong conviction about homeschooling doesn’t mean it’s necessarily the best way for your neighbor, right? Just because you decide it’s best for your child to go to public school doesn’t mean the homeschooler is wrong… right?

Let’s each do our part to end the Mommy Wars. If we all work together on it, maybe we can one day call it Mommy Peace.