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Why Are Some Moms So Darn Bitchy?

Becoming a parent is an opportunity to step into a new life with a new you. All the things you may not have realized about yourself will sudden make its appearance, such as the feisty lioness you never knew actually existed.

bitchy moms and momlife

From a distance, an onlooker (non-parent) might think that moms should suddenly develop that motherly instinct and evolve with niceties and more compassion for people in general. Because we’ve now got children, we should understand what it means to just be “nice.”

Oh, but it’s quite the contrary. The initial stages of motherhood is like training for the military. You go through a series of physical and mental exercises in order to gain the discipline you need for the tougher, more advanced stages of parenthood.

The responsibilities it takes to keep small children alive, while still being functional and somehow socially present for important appearances, like school orientations and jobs must all be done, while being sleep deprived. For many mothers, depression can kick with such vengeance, making life even more difficult to handle.

Still can’t understand? Try going at least 5 days without sleep, but feel free to have as much coffee as your body can handle. During those days, go ahead and get as much interrupted, 4 hour periods of sleep as you can. Then come and tell us how great you feel. Are you tired or feeling a bit looney?

The difference between the above experiment and a real one of a parent’s is that the parent has absolutely no option to quit. I mean, they can but there would be disastrous consequences.

So after all the physical and emotional abuse their body goes through, it’s no wonder many moms gain the added spunk they may not have had. They no longer have the ability to tolerate bullshit and feel it more invigorating to actually say the things they never had the courage to say.

When you see moms out with their children, I would steer clear of judgments and side glances. Most of the time, those parents are tired and probably just trying to keep things sane in their house by going out as a family. This is their moment to have a good time with a nice meal they don’t have to prepare themselves.

So … are we in understanding of the bitchyness? Don’t judge if you’re not yet a mother or have not gone through the common stages of fatigue and emotional trauma. It’s all real and deep exercises into the soul of many mothers. Compassion and as much understanding as possible is all that is needed.

Karlyn Bishop

Karlyn Bishop is the proud mommy to little Oliver and wife to hubby. She is a resident of Laguna Beach and a big player in the web's large social media circle.

30 comments

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  • I wouldn’t say moms are bitchy, i think people with no kids think they understand but really don’t and think that a mom running on no sleep doing it all is something they dont understand.

  • I totally agree!! I remember growing up, wondering why my mom was uptight/frustrated all the time, but now I understand why! She literally did EVERYTHING. Moms don’t get nearly enough credit as they deserve!

  • I’m pretty down-to-earth, but I certainly have my days! Especially when I’m in dire need of more sleep. That’s why I try not to pass judgement on other moms too much, unless they’re downright snooty. ~lol~

  • I am a mom and being a mom of a teen is not as easy as 1-2-3. And I don’t see the point of judging other moms. But then again, judgmental people are everywhere.

  • Being a mom sometimes feels like a thankless job. I know I’ve had my salty moments, but I try to suppress it. I absolutely could not stand other moms telling me I’m doing something wrong though. That made me unleash a few times

  • Moms are not bitchy, they take care of everything and it’s tough when people won’t cooperate. I mean, here you are handling all of the tough chores in the house and you hear people complain about one little thing that they have to do.

  • There are definitely some mean and snooty moms out there. I personally try to show compassion and empathy towards other moms without being judgmental. We should be supporting one another not being mean to one another.

  • I’m not a mom yet, but I could totally understand where it comes from being a mom! It isn’t easy at all but it’s worth it, for sure!

  • Being a mom is tough especially when the kids are little. Great news it does get better when they get a bit older. I remember those sleep deprived days and don’t miss them.

  • I love this post! Not all are bitchy, but you can definitely see that some are. I think all moms are like this once in awhile though. We all have our moods where we can become cranky.

  • Totally not bitchy! Grumpy sometimes? Yes. You know what though, we don’t have to be freaking beaming rays of sunshine all the time. I totally agree with you.

  • Honestly, I don’t care if people think I’m bitchy. I tell my kids like it is. The world isn’t going to sugar coat things for them, so why should I?

  • It can be really hard to be polite even when you are feeling overwhelmed. You never know the struggle someone else is going through so it is never a good idea to judge before knowing the whole story. People look at me and have no idea of the medical issues I have because they are hidden by my clothes but if they knew maybe they would be more patient or polite and maybe even grossed out.

  • I don’t think it is fair that a guy can be forceful and thought of as assertive but a woman acting the same way is bitchy. That being said we all can probably do a better job of being nicer to people.

  • People can be so judgy! While everyone should be nice to one another, having babies was one of the toughest times I ever went through. My husband was traveling a lot when the kids were little, and being home alone with a newborn and toddler was incredibly hard. It is hard to function on so little sleep and such a big change in lifestyle.. no time for mom any more~!

  • All I can say is you hit the nail on the head. It is amazing how those people who are not parents can jump in and judge. My sister was like that until she had her son. I would always tell her wait til you have kids. Now she knows what I was talking about all them years. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and the idea for non parents.

  • I was definitely more bitchy before I became a parent, but now that I am one, I think I have calmed down a bit and have more patience and understanding. Well, except the beginning stages when I was angry at my husband all of the time.

  • Ha, this cracks me up. And it really describes me today. I woke up at 6 a.m. just to get work done before the kids woke up. No fun at all. Thank God for coffee!

  • I am going to be completely honest here and admit I was bitchy long before I had children. Although I do my best to hold it together, becoming a mom just gave me more reasons to be snippy and short on patience.

  • Haha! I hear ya plain and clear! I’m a homeschooling Mom of 5 BOYS! I do sometimes go a little loony and I’m often consuming more caffeine than I’d like to admit! Hey, great news is that everyone is alive and I’m still awake! 🙂

  • I have never understood why any parent would judge another. I’ve seen my wife deal with our three kids and a full time job, and I get why sometimes she can be a little terrifying. But we ALL can be at times.

  • I agree. Moms are not bitchy. There was a stretch of about 3 years where sleep was interrupted. I was not a chipper person after nights where I had night after night of getting up to tend to a child. It is all about putting yourself in another’s shoes before passing judgment on their character.



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