I have approximately three minutes, if I am lucky, between waking up and refereeing children. These three minutes embody the most important speech I give all day. I like to call it my ‘Mom’s Morning Pep Talk.’
So yesterday did not go exactly as planned. It’s ok. Be gracious to yourself; you tried. You didn’t win mother-of-the-year, that’s for sure, but that’s no biggie. That title is reserved for mothers who try too hard and care too much.
Today will be YOUR day! Today will be the day you OWN it!
It is a new day. A day that will be filled with peaceful moments and self-control. You can do this. But when the peaceful mentality shifts during the late afternoon and the shit hits the fan, remember that exploding at the children is not at all productive. In fact, today you will not yell at all! You will sit at the kids’ level, make eye contact and talk to them as the tiny human beings that they are.
You will apologize when needed and not expect perfection. You will OWN today. Today is your oyster.
The dishes will get washed and put away; the laundry will make it out of the dryer, be folded and land in the right drawers. The kids will all help clean up the playroom.
If nothing else, you will put make-up on and brush your hair.
You will survive all the toddler meltdowns.
The television will not be turned on, but everyone will do crafts and play happily instead.
Today will include nature walks, well-packed lunches, and early arrivals everywhere. I will also read 4 full books to the kids!
CRASH! SPLASH! CRASH!
The hair is pulled into a mom-bun without a drop of makeup on the face, and a mad dash is made to grab the now awake baby on the way to the kitchen. I find milk spilling into a puddle, cereal sprinkled from counter to floor, and a young child standing naked looking baffled.
Setting the baby down, I begin to clean and serve breakfast. I do not question the nakedness. I do, however, repeat myself 468 times about nothing and everything. It is not until the 469th time, and my voice changes slightly, that the three old-enough-to-listen children actually listen.
Hello New Day!
Inner voice: Do not consider wine before 8pm.
Well, maybe not before 6pm.
It is 6:41am.
Then somehow the clock moves forward at snail pace and at the speed of light simultaneously and the 2pm Hide-In-The-Bathroom-Pep-Talk happens:
Maybe there will be wine at the 3pm playdate?
I do not believe in time-out, or spanking, or bribing my children. Crap, I already bribed each of them, several times today.
I half-way unloaded the dishwasher and changed one load of laundry over. Beds are made – if that’s what I’m calling sheets being thrown on top of pillows. Yep. They are made.
No make-up is a trend now, right? It came in with the whole leggings movement. Thank you, yoga pants. I love you.
Oh wait, there have been a few really great moments today. The kids all played so well together for 12 minutes. One son even apologized to the other for slugging him in the face! I need to harvest those. There is real potential still left in today.
DINNER. Why does no one ever want to eat what I am making? They were all so excited about it a few hours ago. I somehow bribe everyone to eat enough to sustain their growing bodies, allow the TV to go on, and get yelled at when I ask for the 44th time for kids to head to the bath tub.
Did I mention that I’m writing this article from inside of a locked bathroom at 7:12pm?
My god these kids are becoming killer negotiators. Why is bedtime getting later each day?
Water cups, bathroom trips, book reading, snuggles, and so many good night kisses. Oh, I really do LOVE this. They all look like sleeping angels.
16 minutes after lights out: moooooooooooooooooooooommmy. Seriously.
Some insightful question is asked that I have to google the answer to, and final kisses are given. Then comes the scramble to complete any possible item on the to-do list: crap that I can one-click order on amazon, laundry is replied into baskets, dishes are tossed into the dishwasher, and tomorrow’s to-do list is written. Then, only then is a glass of wine poured. Oh the sweet nectar. Now for Netflix.
Not to be forgotten, there is always the 11pm ‘Survival Discussion’ with one’s self.
The best laid plans… the best laid plans. What was I possibly thinking? Trying to accomplish the world in one day. It took 7 days to create it all and that involved MIRACLES.
I need to reprioritize. The littlest things are what’s important. My kids are freaking amazing. I am amazing.
Hell, I kept everyone alive today. Tomorrow I can win Mother of the Year.
WASH RINSE REPEAT. Daily.