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Sexiness Defined Differently

Have you ever came across someone who was twenty years younger, stared and gave you the eyebrow just because of what you were wearing? Did you find the reaction funny and simply ignored it or did you give your most poker faced attitude that blatantly said, ” What are you looking at ? ” Granted that we were given eyes to see and to admire the view from time to time, still one can never hide the fact that some shallow and limited people use them to measure you up and worst, analyze and judge you to lighten up what seem to be a boring day.

Source: Shutterstock
Source: Shutterstock

I just came from my early morning run and aero at the park. It was Sunday, a day when I wake up at three in the morning, eat a very light breakfast and do some warm ups so I could prepare for my fitness day. I chose to run simply because there are no jeepneys yet at that hour and it is impractical to take a cab. Besides, the park where I join the early morning exercise was almost 10 kilometers away. It was also a very good excuse to improve on my running since Sunday is the only day I set aside for exercise despite my toxic lifestyle and age. I had been working in a call center for eight years now where I had sacrificed eight years of regular sleeping and working hours and felt its health drawbacks. I am now in my mid forties and I am not getting any younger. Thus three to four hours of exercise every weekend plus my daily brisk walking activities are the only way for me to get fit and healthy and slimming down just to be sexy was the farthest thing in my mind why I wear work out clothes and sweat my butt out every weekend.

Sometimes I find it funny to the point of being annoyed why some people just don’t get that.

I was on my way home and had the displeasure of having a young lady in her mid twenties in the same elevator going to my unit. Her scrutiny at my work out clothes and sweaty body did not escape me while I pretended to ignore her. Whatever was running inside her ill mind was something that I have no time for, even her raised eyebrow which she made sure I saw before she alighted the elevator. I just wish she heard what I said in my mind which might have made her stares into glares, pathetic little fool that she is.

At times I feel that insecurity comes to all ages, faces and shapes. You can see it openly as some people wear their hearts on their sleeves whereas for others they have learned through practice how to hide it well. There is a sad truth that we all want to look beautiful and sexy. Some even make the extreme measures of maintaining it because that is how they earn for a living. Some strive for it due to vanity reasons while others have a crooked definition of it to the point of using people to their own advantage. Unfortunately, a lot of people forget that the brain is the sexiest part in the human body and sadly where all the chunk of trashy and toxic mindsets live for years. Sometimes I wish that brains should have filters where you could just screen all the negative thoughts clouding us from the right perspective which is a great help in having a healthy life.

“You know what’s really, powerfully sexy? A sense of humor. A taste for adventure. A healthy glow. Hips to grab on to. Openness. Confidence. Humility. Appetite. Intuition. … Smart-ass comebacks. Presence. A quick wit. Dirty jokes told by an innocent-looking lady. … A storyteller. A genius. A doctor. A new mother. A woman who realizes how beautiful she is.”

― Courtney E Martin

You know what my definition of sexiness is? Subtlety, simplicity, less make up or none at all, a free spirit, unconventionalism, courage, creativity, compassion, honesty, pro activeness, laughter, accepting one’s responsibility, doing that extra mile to understand and appreciate children and the elderly, finding time to hug your kids and discovering that inner child as you once again look at the world differently. Just like running at four in the morning as you wait and greet the early morning sun, basking in its glow on your sweaty self, seizing the day and living life for the moment.

So what is your definition of sexiness ? I would love to hear your thoughts.

Sarah Bucu

I am a gray haired mom of seven, three of whom have special needs. I enjoy blogging, Zumba , running and joining the group exercises at the park during weekends. I also write about stories on parenting, friendships, health and fitness. From time to time I feature product reviews, events and advocacies that I believe in and that are close to my heart. Do visit me at http://notonmyownanymore.blogspot.com or send me an email at [email protected]

58 comments

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  • I want to say, “Wow. You have nothing better in your life to occupy your mind then what I’m wearing or what I may have been doing. You need a life.”

    I’ve thought about taking up running so I can run the Princess Marathon at WDW. If you knew me, you’d probably find the thought of me running hysterical.

  • i heard a quote a while ago that goes something like this “Those who belittle others do it because they want to hide their own insecurities and weaknesses.” Doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt, and embarrass us, but it is something most women have issues with.

    • I know especially women who have not found their identities yet. I know in time they will come to realize and accept that all of us are unique and have our way of expressing ourselves, opinions , creativity and they just have to live with that.

  • I take my son to a park daily where the women there have everything put back where it is supposed to be by doctors, they all look perfectly made up and then here comes me. I am a runner, I wear my running clothing all day long because it is comfortable, I like to play with my son at the park and have fun, I wear no make up. They do not talk to me and I do not mind that they judge me, I believe sexy is someone who is real to themselves, honest, has a sense of humor, there are so many things.

    • It would be great to run and play with your kids at the park, something that I have not done for a long time. My kids are fast runners and brisk walkers. That also motivated me to find time for fitness so I could spend more days with them, filled with laughter and fun despite my toxic lifestyle. Thank you for making me remember all that by simply commenting on my post.

    • I know but we encounter these people not just on TV, magazines, in social media but in real life as well. Perhaps some really mean well where as for others they are just good in giving “feedback ” or advise and eventually earn from it as well.

  • I don’t normally feel sexy, my definition of sexy isn’t quite the same as yours. Certain clothes make me feel sexy, but other than that I may feel happy, content or confident in myself, but not exactly sexy.

    • People have different definitions of sexiness which is good because it shows the uniqueness on how we perceive things. There are also people who are sexy without them even knowing and it is that mystery that somehow draws such attention and admiration at the same time.

  • I think sexiness is a state of mind. I have seen people that are visually appealing but have a terrible disposition so I don’t think it is about looks really. I find men that are funny, or can sing sexy.

  • She must have obviously been jealous or feeling guilt because she isn’t out taking care of herself. Beauty is on the inside and that says it all for her. Sexiness on the other hand to me is a complete state of mind. xo

    • That ‘s what I felt as well. Finding time for fitness entails dedication and focus. It is not about looking good in work out clothes but feeling good and healthy while you work out.

  • I have always thought that nothing is sexier than confidence. Also, I think people who are so overtly judgmental do so as a way of shielding their own insecurities. So, I wouldn’t waste any time worrying about the critical eye of elevator girl.

  • I’m not really sure what I think is sexiness! I do find it nice to find people who are willing to stand up for what they believe, I’m not sure if that would be considered sexy though lol I also think its sexiness when my hubby drops everything he is doing just to spend time with my kids. I know he doesn’t want to finger paint, draw or w/e is they have him doing that day, but he makes my kiddos feel as if its the most important thing in the world 🙂

    I do know what you mean about rude looks and people thinking they have a right to judge. I once had an older women tell in the super market I should do more to hide my freckles! Obviously at 26 I don’t like the fact I have brown spots all over my face, but at the same time I had them for 26 years I know they are there I didn’t need her to rudely point them out.

    • I also find it sexy for dads to drop what ever they’re doing just to spend time with their kids. As for the older woman who pointed out that you do more to hide your freckles , perhaps she thought she was doing more good than harm in telling you all about it, which at times does not really help.

  • Difference of opinions among generations can not be omitted, best is every new one things they are right and oldies find themselves correct.

    • I love what you said. I know we all learn from each other despite the differences in age and even in culture but no one can deny that with ” with maturity comes wisdom .”

    • Others chose cattiness instead to draw attention and have their own set of reasons why. Perhaps to them, it is better than not getting any attention at all which is really kind a sad, Debi.

  • Totally felt that way in the mall the other day. A group of teenage girls gave me funny looks and were whispering and laughing. But my husband came up and put his arm around me and gave them dirty looks back.

  • I know, Elizabeth. Some have a knack of scrutinizing others perhaps to add color on a boring day without knowing that their insecurity can be felt in every time they do that.

  • Why do other people care? It doesn’t even matter in the grand scheme of things. Tearing others down to make themselves feel better…..even my 6 year old knows better. Sigh. Confidence is sexy, no matter what clothes the woman is wearing.

    • You got that right, Karen. Confidence and the attitude which I believe just comes out naturally once we accept life and all the complexities and craziness that goes with it.

  • I know! What happened?!?! We used to be young and now we are not so much. But I feel lucky to see women of all ages working out at the place I do and the older women there often remind us that think we are old now that there is a lot more to chnage and fall apart yet to come.

    • I know Jessica. Having a positive and healthy mindset really helps a lot in seeing the beauty and wisdom in aging. Besides blessings outpour when you accept and learn to live with your age , which is just but a number.

  • I know! What happened?!?! We used to be young and now we are not so much. But I feel lucky to see women of all ages working out at the place I do and the older women there often remind us that think we are old now that there is a lot more to chnage and fall apart yet to come.

  • Great post– and makes me try to remember if we judged those that were twenty years older when we were very young. LIkely we did as well– I think it is one of those things that we live and learn.

    • I know and it seem just like yesterday. At times I find it funny and at times a bit annoying when people give you a second look just because you had your hair dyed, not knowing that you are old enough to be their mother or aunt.

  • Never before have I heard “sexiness” being described to a T….at least that is how I see it. I don’t think being “sexy” has anything to do with looks. Looks fade, the girl in her mid-twenties will soon be in her mid-thirties and her body won’t be the same. It is all in the brain….

    • I agree Sofia. I hope this young people will learn in time that sexiness goes way beyond looks and a great figure. Perhaps then they will understand why.

  • I agree with your definitions of it, I think it’s part of each of these combined in a beautiful (internally) person.
    I’ve come across such people at some point and my reaction to them is depending on how I feel at the time. Sometimes I simply stare them down as well, until they look away.

    • Perhaps some people stare at others for varied reasons . Some people may find it impolite while others take it indifferently. We all have a unique way of sending our message across, with or without words which are at times misunderstood.

  • I agree with Sexy is a great sense of humor. Also being willing to be honest. I’ve got the farthest thing from a SEXY figure–but my HUBBY still see’s the sexy in me every time I make him dinner or wash his clothes-as we’ve grown older together we’ve found “SEXY” has a different deeper meaning then just the surface of each other

About Author

Sarah Bucu

I am a gray haired mom of seven, three of whom have special needs. I enjoy blogging, Zumba , running and joining the group exercises at the park during weekends. I also write about stories on parenting, friendships, health and fitness. From time to time I feature product reviews, events and advocacies that I believe in and that are close to my heart. Do visit me at http://notonmyownanymore.blogspot.com or send me an email at [email protected]