It’s difficult to feel happy about anything when all these natural disasters are happening all over the place. So many people have lost their homes, have lost lives, have lost everything.
All of it makes me feel unworthy of happiness right now. From the hurricanes to mass shooting and then fires. I feel for all of those who have suffered through loss and pain. I feel for everyone who are doing their best to help wherever they could.
How do you manage laughs when such an immense amount of people in our country are in such turmoil? One of my friends says she “sees and feels things” that could happen in the present and future. I asked if she thinks the world is coming to an end. She said, “nah. The world will keep turning no matter what.”
I’m not sure if I should take comfort in that or just laugh. Of course the world will keep turning, but eventually something’s gotta give and I’m afraid I will live in the midst of chaos or something even more tragic that I have no control over.
I know it sounds like heavy duty fear mongering, but that’s why I blog right? For my own personal therapy? To be released so that I could be honest with my feelings? That was the reason my blogging journey began, but that’s a whole different story.
I’m not sure how much laughing I could even do. I live at the beach and thought I’d go down the street and have a smoothie bowl for lunch and then felt like I was being really selfish. How could I possibly sit there, making myself feel better when so many people can’t even eat, not because they chose to be in that situation, but because of the unfortunate situations they fell into?
This morning, my 6 year old climbed into bed with me stroked my hair, gave me a kiss and said, “mommy, I can’t sleep anymore because there’s a blue light that’s scaring me.”
I hugged him tight, kissed him and said, “honey, it’s just the computer light. It’s nothing to be afraid of. Mommy will always protect you.”
With that, I realized I can’t live in sadness, because I have so many things I could smile and laugh about. My son is in my arms and I’ve got so much love around me that it’s actually difficult not to cherish all the things that are beautiful in my world.
I realized that we may not be able to help everyone, but helping those who have lost a lot can start from simple acts of smiles, simple acts of kindness, and simple acts of love. All of these can bring about positive outlooks of what could come for better futures, rather than dwell in the sadness. Sadness can’t give us hope and the drive we need to move forward.
I’m a true believer in the fact that everything does happen for good reason. I know, because I’m a living, breathing survivor of rock bottom events. At the times horrible things happened to me, I cursed the world. Yet, here I am, living a happy, healthy, lovely life.