voiceBoks® - The Voice of Parenthood

The Mantra of Baby Making

I recently spoke to a friend of mine who was getting a little frustrated about the whole baby making process. See, some of us aren’t as fertile as others and don’t get pregnant in one go.  There are those who really want babies, but can’t have them and then those who don’t want them, but accidentally have them.  I mean, really? How do you accidentally get pregnant?

I have another friend whose husband came home from a vasectomy just to find out the day after that his wife is pregnant.  They have 2 girls and are about to have another. Wow! Right? So back to this baby making thing … I was reading a book recently called Men Get Pregnant, Too and just could not believe he was talking (from a man’s perspective) about the same feelings my husband said he had when we were trying to get pregnant.  My husband refused to get tested to see if his “swimmers” were any good. After 7 months of trying, he was almost convinced it was time for a checkup. We tried everything. We scheduled our “love dates” based on the pregnancy chart cycle, I exercised and destressed with yoga, and I followed all the common pregnancy tips. It had gotten to the point of frustration for us and of course worry.

After a while, our “love dates” had become so routine that it felt almost like a chore. A really depressing chore. baby-making-mantra

My brother, who’s about 10 years younger than me and now has two kids, said, “go have some alcohol. Some people always get pregnant after they drink.”

I had been under so much pressure to stay healthy and do everything right, that I never actually relaxed. Maybe I did actually need to do just that.

I still remember that moment my son was actually conceived. Somehow, I was absolutely sure he was coming.

A few weeks later, I was having a really depressing day. I was the Marketing Director for my parents’ home health office at the time.  It’s a family business where my cousins, my aunt, and my uncle were all working. I had to visit a doctor (it was a work thing), but somehow had the idea to stop at a Walmart and pickup some pregnancy tests.  I then drove back to the office and saw my aunt at the parking lot. She asked me if I was pregnant yet. I said, “no, why?”

She said, “it kinda seems like you are.”

Of course I knew she was laughing AT me and not just making a joke.  So I went into the office even more upset than I was and refused to talk to anyone.  I was tired, moody, and felt really bloated. I was sure a period was coming along again.

I went to the restroom and just for the heck of it (even though I just did it a few days before), I did another pregnancy pee test.

I was washing my hands and ready to be disappointed again when I saw the light plus sign. Without warning, I felt tears gushing from my eyes and so many different emotions suddenly came over me that I couldn’t stand straight! I was shocked, happy, and excited at the same time.

I went outside and my mom had this worried look on her face after she saw me crying. I couldn’t speak of course. So I just held up the pregnancy test.

She then hugged me and started crying. I was on the floor, crying! Crying in front of the entire staff! The staff of about 11 people gathered around me and I noticed EVERYONE, including the guys, crying! They all knew we were trying every month. I was almost 32 and was getting really worried.

So my best getting pregnant tip? Just relax.

Lexie Lane

Lexie Lane is the creator of voiceBoks.com, owner of Social Media Panel, and co-author of the book, The Blogger's Survival Guide Tips and Tricks for Parent Bloggers Wordsmiths and Enthusiasts.

7 comments

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

  • I’ve known many couples that once they finally relaxed-conceived. A couple of them after having adopted. Yes, I believe relaxing and just de stressing is a big part of the answer for a lot of people.

  • I remember when we first started trying to get pregnant with my 3rd baby. It was actually weird knowing that I was trying to have a baby and the months seemed to go by with no signs of being pregnant. I cried my eyes out and asked my GYN why I wasn’t getting pregnant. He told me that since I had kids previously to give it some time and try not to think about it. Easier said than done but once I stopped focusing on it helped with the disappointment each month. Finally, after 18 months, I got a positive pregnancy test without any medical intervention. Hang in there and talk to your doctor, if you are struggling on getting pregnant.

  • That is a great tip. Relaxing is key. Mine was to lose weight. Every single time I lost a bunch of weight, I would get pregnant. The DR said it was because when women lose weight they feel sexier and more interested in sex.

  • Awwww…. I had no trouble getting pregnant, though I remember the same feelings (perhaps to a slightly lesser extent). When we were adopting Ellie and I (seemingly) had much less control over the whole thing, I bawled BUCKETS when I finally got her sweet little photo in my hand.

    Our kids — they move us in ways nothing else can.