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The Saga of the Unheard Mother

Can you hear me now?……..

There is something about bad phone reception that makes me so frustrated that I can feel the steam rise from my head. But which service provider do we call when we feel that no one can hear us in our own home? Between the husband, kids and pets, I don’t know which communication line drops the most!


The trash runs over, food is left on the table, toys are not back in their box, a crayon masterpiece is on the wall, and yet the only person not relaxing is me. In this house of chaos and junk, no one seems to feel the need to put everything in its place. I just wanted to scream, but will anyone even hear me?

One night I took a deeper look into my “unheard momma syndrome” and reviewed what I was trying to say. Am I communicating clearly? Am I complaining? Or better yet … Am I repeating myself?

Sometimes we can quickly assume that everyone should know what to do without having being told over and over. In result, when communicating we can become agitated, short and unclear.

What can I do to be heard?

I have four quick tips to help you in your method of communication in the house:

1. Develop an “elevator pitch”. Keep what you have to say short, sweet and to the point. I think of what I would like to say that is less than 30 seconds long. It will include key points that clearly states my message. I walk away with a smile knowing that I communicated before the attention life span in the house fades away!

2. Before getting frustrated, make sure that what you wanted to say was clearly communicated in the first place. If what you desired was not met, go back into your memory and make sure that you states what you wanted done. Often times, I will say something with agitation and realize later that I did not break it down into “family” terminology!

3. Create a routine … Sometimes repetitiveness where expectations are known, it is easier for certain things to get done. Do what works for you and your family. Often websites and media display families in the “picture perfect” atmosphere with superb organization and are typically photographed on a set.

4. Just let it go. Sometimes not having everything in order is not a bad thing. Enjoying your family in the moment has more value than the headache that comes from unfinished chores. We work hard as mothers. Take a break from being the house captain!

These tips are something that can help you in your journey to be heard. If there is a moment where you feel overwhelmed and unheard, simply take a deep breath. If we can control one thing, it will be how we react and communicate. When we get angry and feel no one is listening, we often are the only person that is affected. There will be times where you would like to scream, but remember to not beat yourself up!

Domonique Townsend

D. Anne Townsend, a native of Nashville, TN, is a working mother of three kids ages 4 and under. She is married to William Kenneth Townsend, Jr. who is also a native of Nashville. She has a degree in Industrial Engineering from Tennessee Tech University and currently works as a Process Improvement Engineer. In her spare time, she loves to dance, public speak, and most definitely spend time with her family.


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