Every time someone asks me if I breast feed or bottle feed, I shriek a little bit on the inside.
Or, at least I used to.
It’s like there’s some untold ‘faux pas’ behind bottle feeding your kids. As if bottle feeding mothers are too wrapped up in the busy lives they lead to even nurture their own infant.Ummm… keywords: as if!!
The time it takes to make a bottle — let’s pretend I’m not a twin mom for a second — Yeah, so the time it takes to make one bottle and warm it up…
The money it takes to supply the formula, buy the bottles, and the nipples, and the sterilizers…
The patience it takes to know that you can’t produce milk ‘like a good mother should’, be constantly reminded of that by society, and still search high and low for the perfect formula because each one so far seems to give your baby gas…
Bottle feed or breast feed, I’m not judging. I just wish I could say the same about the rest of the world.
Since it’s more common to hear the raves about breastfeeding, I’m here to share my story!
You’re welcome fellow mothers of the bottle!
All throughout my pregnancy, I was urged to breastfeed.
I was ready, and excited to bond with my newborn babies through breastfeeding.
At 32 weeks, I was induced, and my baby girls were born. Obviously, at 32 weeks, they were premature, so they spent the first 2 weeks of their lives in the NICU.
Let me just tell you, those were the hardest 2 weeks of my life. Because they were outside of arms for so long, yes, but it was more to it than that.
After carrying my munchkins for 32 weeks and finally bringing them into this world, I only got to see them for 30 seconds!
They were cut out of my belly (that’s the gist of a C section) and whisked off immediately. I wasn’t able to see them for the next 21 hours.
Not only was I sad that I couldn’t hold them in my arms (although Daddy could, and I was extremely jealous!!), but this meant that my chance to successfully breast feed was slipping away by the second!
I was not there for their first feeding. I was not their to get them to latch on.
I was in a room, on the other side of the hospital, desperately trying to produce milk. And getting more and more frustrated as the minutes crept by.
Drop by drop, I was able to produce milk for my girls, and I was elated! Until, I realized that I would not be there to feed them. I stocked up on as much milk as I could before I was evicted from the hospital. (I was only allowed to stay for 2 days!!)
But, I was eager to get home and pump some more. Even though I couldn’t be with my girls in the NICU, at least they’d have their mama’s milk!
I was determined!
Sore nipples. Deflated boobs. But, my milk wasn’t coming in quickly enough. With two growing, hungry babies, they were out eating me.
My dream of breastfeeding came to an end. My carriage turned back into a pumpkin.
Distraught and unhappy, I began my journey to becoming a bottle feeding mama.
On this journey, we’ve had plenty of ups, downs, and spiral turns, but there is one thing that bottle feeding has taught me, that breast feeding never could.
At the end of the day, the type of nurturing that your child receives doesn’t matter, as long as they are receiving it. The same amount of love and attention can be given to a bottle fed baby as a breast fed baby.
I had my heart set on breast feeding, but after I realized that it’s feeding your baby, not how your feed your baby, that is important I quickly started to welcome Similac and Enfamil with open arms!
It’s been six months, and my beautiful girls are as happy and eager as ever!
So, breathe bottle feeding mama. You are not alone, and you are not a threat to this society! Continue to do what you do, and be proud of it!