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things we ponder

Things We Rarely Talk About but Possibly Think About More Often Than We’d Ever Admit

My grandma’s funeral really dug deep into my heart. For nearly 10 years, her Alzheimer’s Disease changed who she was in a significant way. Through the years, some of us started to forget how she once was and just saw this woman who seemed to act insane most of the time. Then when she died, people from all over the country, some even from outside the country, flew in to pay their respects.

Death can bring people together

There were relatives and family members who spent years not speaking to each other, hugging and sharing their loss. It was sad, but a somehow happy reunion for many people. Even the ones who had sworn never to speak to another family member again were seen embracing each other.

I think death has a way of waking people up and reminding them of how short life really is. We spend so many busy minutes of our lives focusing on some of the most unimportant issues, stressing out about them and doing very unhealthy things because of them. Then time passes and these issues no longer exist, but the bad memories and heartaches sometimes never go away.

Nearly every person I spoke to that attended my grandma’s funeral said her death’s made them think about their own life, where it’s been, and where they think it’s headed. I think the fact that people tend to remember the past and how this person, who now lies in a coffin, was once so lively and had so much going for her, is now dead. Looking at someone lying in a coffin makes you question the meaning of life and where you could possibly go from death.

Thought provoking questions about life and death

Then, of course, I kept getting a lecture, “believe in God and you shall never question your life and death again.” Really? I do believe there’s a God, but I still can’t help feeling the unknown.

things we ponder

I’d really love to know exactly what we’re doing here. If we are all the result of cellular accidents then how is it that we can think the way we do? Cells are moving around in our heads, but how are these cells forming the way it does to make the decisions that tell us to do right or wrong?

So perhaps there is a magical, spiritual being that’s about to take over the invisible spirits that help us feel, think, and have emotions. And if we’re going to be in a magical place, then why do we need to spend so much time trying to make our lives perfect now? Or if we’re NOT going to be anything after we die, then shouldn’t we live life the absolute best way possible so we could make the most of what we are now? But then what happens after that? What’s the point to doing anything, being anything, if we’re nothing, but dust.

People say we leave little bits of us in people’s hearts. We leave our legacy behind. But then eventually, our children and all the people we know will die. Then what?

Have you ever come across moments of doubt in yourself? In life? In the things you’ve done or haven’t done? Please share.

Karlyn Bishop

Karlyn Bishop

Karlyn Bishop is the proud mommy to little Oliver and wife to hubby. She is a resident of Laguna Beach and a big player in the web's large social media circle.

28 comments

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  • I think we’re here for a purpose. Our time is limited, yes, that’s one reality that we can never change but at least we can make an impact for those people who we’ll be crossing paths with. I hope people keep that in mind whenever they feel a pang of self doubt.

  • We recently lost a close relative. Losing a loved one is really so difficult. We put a memorial video together for our uncle, and try to keep his memory alive for our niece and nephew.

  • Death actually can make you realize, people that closer to you is important. Appreciate them before you lose it. And death is a painful thing and it takes time to heal.

  • So sorry for your loss. Alzheimers is such a horrible disease. Deth is so hard for us to talk about which is why we should talk about it more.

  • Although death is a normal part of life, it’s still hard to process sometimes. It can bring people together or tear them apart. But whatever happens, it does make you think about your life and the legacy you want to leave behind.

  • That part about you living as a part of your family and people, in life and death, is absolutely true. I have heard many interpretations of it in movies and books. My favorite one has to be from a fictional character named Erwin Smith: It’s up to us to give meaning to the people who left us.

  • This is my most hated topic, I hate talking about death because I always remember those family members who suffered and died from their illness. But what can I do everyone of us will definitely go there, we can only delay it to be happen but definitely we cannot stop it.

  • February was a hard month on us with losing multiple people we cared for. It is hard to not look at your own life and mortality when you’ve lost someone you care about. Definitely a great reminder to cherish the moments we get with our family and friends.

  • Very thought-provoking post, thank you for sharing! I’ve definitely come across moments of doubt when it comes to life and death and what the heck we’re all even doing here on Earth. I was especially shaken after my little brother’s death, but I think it’s helped me open my eyes more to appreciating every second we have and making the most of our lives while we’re here.

  • It’s true. I’ve experienced too much death in my life to know that unfortunately, it does bring people together.

  • Death is definitely a topic that no one likes to talk about. But it can be a way of waking people up and reminding us that we are not here forever and we shouldn’t hold grudges.

  • Thank you for sharing this. My condolences for your loss. I lost my mother when I was 16 and very familiar with grief and transitions. It is these times when all seems amiss that we are afforded the sacred space to stand in awe of life itself. My blessings to you on your path.

  • Death is definitely a topic that I think about more than I discuss amongst other topics. I know a lot of people try to avoid thinking about it and would rather do much worst things than talk about death.

  • Oh my goodness, I’ve had these same deep thoughts this year and it really can turn your world upside down. Mine got so deep I just wondered what the point was to wake up some days…not because I was depressed, but more because I didn’t know what my purpose was or if I had a purpose if we are supposed to have a purpose. These thoughts are crazy but I don’t think we are by accident at all….we have morals and that means something weather some people observe these morals or not.

  • I, too, believe in God. If not for him, then who, what? My daughter wasn’t a believer until she had her first child. During her that pregnancy I asked her questions such as are you saying cells can make that beautiful perfect human that growing inside of you from the love from you to your husband and visa versa? Maybe dust you think? I do question my thoughts and beliefs now and then, although, I think it is satan pulling us to his direction.

  • My grandma recently passed away and I was surprised at how MUCH I wanted to talk about it but everyone around me didn’t want to discuss it at all.

    Personally, I believe that I will have eternal life with Jesus Christ my Savior after I die, and I know that my Grandma believed that as well. So, I have faith that I will see her again.

  • I too think death can bring people together. It reminds us that life is too short to hold grudges or not see people who mean a lot to us. This was a very thought provoking post indeed.

  • I think we all experience moments of doubt and it’s definitely important to talk about. Whether its in ourselves, our lives, our beliefs or our passions –– we’ve all experienced this feeling and the important thing is coping and communicating.

  • I totally agree death is a way of waking people up and reminding us, life is not eternal and we should embrace every moment and live in the moment. Sorry for your loss.

  • Such a nice post and I am sorry for your loss. I doubted myself most of time especially when I make a mistakes or a wrong decision. But I thank God because He opened my eyes that man can’t really avoid making mistakes or wrong decisions what important we learn how to correct it and how to repent from it.

  • I loved this, a very existential but thoughtful piece. I have totally doubted myself before, maybe way too much sometimes! Im so sorry to hear of your loss!

About Author

Karlyn Bishop

Karlyn Bishop

Karlyn Bishop is the proud mommy to little Oliver and wife to hubby. She is a resident of Laguna Beach and a big player in the web's large social media circle.