voiceBoks® - The Voice of Parenthood

Why I Thought I Didn’t Want a Son

“Do you want a boy or girl?”

I can’t tell you how often I heard this question. And I answered, pretty dishonestly most of the time.

Brittany-Hoover-and-Son

“ Oh I don’t care, I just want a healthy baby!” When my husband would honestly answer “BOY!” every time. But under my fake smile and people pleasing answer, deep down in my heart I wanted a baby girl.

Growing up with two sisters and my mom sparked my desire for a baby girl once I got pregnant. My sisters and I are very close as well as my mom and I. I dreamed of going shopping with my little girl, getting her first pedicure, picking out what bow she was wearing for the day (because she WOULD wear a bow, every single day). Its ugly to admit that I didn’t want a boy, but it is a very real and common feeling. And yes, I feel guilty that I ever thought that. I feel guilty that my gut feeling, my motherly instincts told me that I was going to have a boy and I was disappointed. I was afraid of raising a son. It was out of my territory. I couldn’t picture it. I was so afraid to fail at being a mother to a little boy. And even with all of these dreams of pink bows and glitter, I knew my husband wanted a boy. He had the same fears about raising a girl as I did about raising a boy.

After our 20 week ultrasound as we anxiously awaited to find out if we needed to buy hair bows or bow ties! I wanted it to be a boy out of the pure excitement it would bring to my husband, yet selfishly I still wanted a girl. As we cut into that gender reveal cake and saw the bright blue I was surprisingly overtaken with joy! The fear of raising a son went away and the dream of pink bows and glitter got tucked away for next time. The fact was that I was having a son and I was ecstatic! Sure, it is different, and not as sparkly. It is something I was very unfamiliar with. But he was MY SON! We had a name picked out for him already and I couldn’t help but repeat it in my head as soon as we cut that cake. It was perfect.

As my son grows from tiny newborn babe to a walking talking toddler, I am having a blast. Sure, he prefers trucks and cars and he loves to play in the dirt, but it is an amazing experience for me. One so great that I never could have dreamt it up on my own. Now I look at my husband’s relationship with his mom in a whole new light. The way a son loves his mother is so rich, so incredibly sweet and I am lucky to be able to experience that.

I believe that many parents are afraid to say what they really desire, boy or girl. I believe this feeling is more common then we realize. But the truth is that once you find out, it doesn’t matter anyway And it may not be an automatic change of heart. It may take some time and that is okay! What I can guarantee is that once that tiny babe is in your arms, it doesn’t matter if his little hospital hat is pink or blue. That baby is the most perfect, beautiful little piece of both of you. Enjoy him, or her!

Brittany Hoover

Brittany Hoover

My name is Brittany Hoover and I am a wife and new mom to my handsome little boy!
I am an old soul that loves a good cup of coffee and the rain. I married my high school sweetheart and couldn’t be happier! I am a firm believer in young love and quality time with your family, and those friends whom you love just as much. I started my Real Mom Diary blog as a raw and honest place for me to share all things ’life’. From love to motherhood, breastfeeding to beauty, its my space to share. I love to write, take pictures (that fill my iCloud way too fast) and journal as much as I can so I can someday reminisce on what was an insane journey of becoming the best mom, wife and person I can possibly be.

39 comments

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  • What a very sweet picture of the two of you. I was smiling when I read ‘Sure, it is different, and not as sparkly.’ I have a blast with my nephew and never thought I’d have so much fun with a lil’ boy.

  • Aww, I don’t know why I laughed/teared up/smiled at you being so happy to find out it was a boy, when you thought you wanted a girl, lol. I guess I’m just happy that you were happy. 🙂

    He’s sure cute!

  • My first was a girl, my second was a boy. I wanted another girl, and it took me a while to come around to the fact I had a boy. Thankfully he was the most loving, sweet and adorable little thing who showed me just how fabulous it was to have one of each.

  • I have one boy and two girls and each has brought special things. I know as a mom it’s tempting to want a little girl though! But when it gets down to the end of your pregnancy you just want a healthy baby. Then when they come out, you’re just so happy that it doesn’t really matter at all!

  • I was the same way. Growing up with sisters, I definitely wanted a girl. I was really disappointed too when I found out I was having a boy. Once he got here though, I can’t imagine having any other little person. He’s amazing. Now I have two boys and I love it. Boys are so much fun. I’ve even found a way to have fun dressing them. At the end of the day, we have no control over what we’re going to have. It is what it is. People keep asking if we’ll try for a girl. My response now is that we’ll have a third boy or girl to make our family complete.

  • Your son is so cute and so, I’m glad you turned a corner on that subject once he was born. Sadly, in some cultures, sons are preferred over daughters and women worry that if they don’t have a son, their husbands will leave them.

  • You and your son look adorable in the photo. I wished to have a boy but a baby girl is also fine. But when I got pregnant and asked my husband, he said he would be very happy if our baby is a girl. And it is a girl!

  • I absolutely agree. We had 2 boys and 1 girl when I found out I was expecting again. I wanted a girl no matter what but when the Dr. said he’s a boy everything changed and I was excited to have another boy.

  • What an honest and open post. We wanted a little girl as well but we ended up with 3 boys and I’m so happy and blessed to be mommy to them! There’s nothing like a mommas boy!

  • I’m blessed to have two girls and a boy, though all I wanted with my pregnancies was a healthy baby. With the first two, they were premature so with my third (and last)- a healthy, full term baby was all I wanted.

  • I was thrilled my first was a girl, but then after three more I so wanted a boy. Then boom I had twins, a boy and girl. So I took that as I sign to be careful what you ask for lol.

  • When it came to my 4th pregnancy after 3 boys, I was hoping for a girl, and it took some getting used to. But I LOVE my boys 0 they are the best thing that has ever happened to me!

  • I wanted a girl the first time around too. I got a boy and there’s never a dull moment. We are very close and I wouldn’t change that for the world. I think everyone, went through this and Thank You for having this honest conversation.

  • I’ve always wanted a son, and I’m glad I was blessed with one five years ago. I love how protective, sweet, and overly caring sons are towards their moms. If I were to have another child, I’d like a boy again. 🙂

  • Babies are gift of god. Every woman should feel the pleasant experience of pregnancy. Gender is not an issue. Honestly I and my husband love girl babies. Be it a girl or a baby at first sight we only admire their beauty.

  • I think we all have some form of gender disappoint when we are pregnant. I know that I was thinking that my youngest was a girl and found out he was a boy. I was kinda disappointed but I wasn’t unhappy with the news. I wanted another girl because I wanted to dress her up in fancy dresses and bows. In the end, I am very happy that I have a son. He is a true blessing and I wouldn’t change it for the world. Plus, he is the very inspiration that gave me the idea to start a blog to help others. 😉

  • Boys are strange and wonderful creatures, aren’t they 🙂 I am glad I had one of each because I can honestly say, neither is easier lol. No, really, they are the joys of my life. As long as they are healthy, that is all that counts!

  • I always answered honestly; I wanted a boy(I got one too!). And if I had any more I’d want boys. I know I’d love my baby no matter what the sex, but its ok to have a preference. Brill post.

  • I totally thought my second was going to be a girl again and kept thinking it was in my mind, but then the ultrasound said it was a boy and I was in shock. I love my son and I wrapped my head around the idea of having a boy, but that first day I found out I was uncertain and it took me a day to get new thoughts in my head about a boy because my mind had spent 4 months thinking it was a girl.

  • I thought I wanted a little girl, too, but was thrilled to meet my new son for the first time — not knowing until his birth that he was a boy. The second one, I was sure we had a girl coming. My pregnancy was so different. But, it turns out he was just a very different boy! Those boys are 20 and 17 now, and I couldn’t imagine a deeper love.

    We do have our daughter, too… she’s my spunky sidekick — hair bows and glitter and BFFs and drama! I love it all, but I’m glad I’m older and wiser to go through this one! 😉

About Author

Brittany Hoover

Brittany Hoover

My name is Brittany Hoover and I am a wife and new mom to my handsome little boy!
I am an old soul that loves a good cup of coffee and the rain. I married my high school sweetheart and couldn’t be happier! I am a firm believer in young love and quality time with your family, and those friends whom you love just as much. I started my Real Mom Diary blog as a raw and honest place for me to share all things ’life’. From love to motherhood, breastfeeding to beauty, its my space to share. I love to write, take pictures (that fill my iCloud way too fast) and journal as much as I can so I can someday reminisce on what was an insane journey of becoming the best mom, wife and person I can possibly be.